What do you call a woman who has one leg that's shorter than the other? Asymmetrical.

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Roses are brown. Violets are brown. It's the middle of winter. Flowers look like poop.

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come along children

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So two muffins are in an oven. They get baked.

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3 men walk into a bar. The fourth one ducks.

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what does the doctor say to the patient. you have cancer

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You know what isn't funny? AIDS. You know what is? Brittany Spears with AIDS...

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What did the man say to his wife? Go make me a sandwich!

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Why cant i stand up? Cause i shat my pants

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69

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How many Alzheimer patients does it take to change a light bulb? To get to the other side!

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Why was Susie screaming profusely? Susie has autism.

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HAHA SO ONE TIME... The man could not finish his story because he gets shot, and is mourned for years. His daughter was watching it all. She then jumped. And fell. And broke her knee. And then died. yeah

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Why was Adam sad his dog got ran over? He was holding the dog.

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Chuck Norris died.

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Q: Why couldn't Helen Keller drive? A: Because she is a woman.

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What do you call a black person playing basketball? An athlete.

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What if I told you that our role our "little team" is not as little as you think?

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Roses are #FF0000 Violets are #0000FF

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A woman goes into a butchers with her baby. She says "I live a few doors down and my scales are broken, do you mind weighing my son?" The butcher takes the boy away and a short while later returns holding a dripping bag. "He's 17lbs two ounces" he informs her, as his colleague brings the boy to the counter safe and well.

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What's funny about suicide? Nothing, that's horrible.

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Q: Whats more fun that nailing babys to a fence? A: Ripping them off.

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An Asian oceanographer went scuba diving in the Pacific Ocean. Three days later the coast guard found his remains torn apart by sharks.

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Why can't Sally brush her hair? Because she has leukemia.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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