Konock Konock Uh, you spelt knock knock wrong... Oh.

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What did the homeless man get for Christmas? Nothing..

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What is a ghost's favorite dessert? Nothing. Ghosts do not exist, thus they cannot eat dessert.

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a fat man eats porkchops all day ling shit a just craped my pants

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A man walks into a psychiatrists office with a banana in his ear, The psychiatrist says, why do you have that banana in your ear. The man says, "What?" The psychiatrist says, "I said, 'Why do you have that banana in your ear?" The man says, "What?" The psychiatrist shouts, "I SAID, WHY DO YOU HAVE THAT BANANA IN YOUR EAR?" The man says, "Sorry, I can't hear you, I'm deaf." (props- Marty Smith)

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What has four legs, its yellow with black spots, and can run as fast as a Cheetah? Another Cheetah

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Why didn't the depressed girl go on facebook? She was dead

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What do you call a guy with a car on his head? Immediate identification would not be possible. The man would be referred to by his estimated demographics. Circumstantial evidence and dental reports may be required for identification at which points the family's would be notified. Only after this will the man's name would be released to the media who would in turn report this.

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How did the fireman get the cat out of the tree? He shot it.

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What's worse than finding mold on your cheese? Getting Raped

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Roses are red violets are red, the grass is red Holy crap! My yard is on fire!

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why did the kid kill himslelf? he was bullied.

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Why doesn't Santa Claus like cantaloupe? Because he doesn't exist. You have to exist to like cantaloupe.

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Little Timmy walked up to the teacher and asked her "Can i go to the restroom?" The teacher said " I don't know, CAN you ?" Little Timmy said "When I was using "can" I was using its secondary model form as a verbal modifier asking for permission, as opposed to expressing an ability. I thought since you were a teacher you'd know that. My bad. MAY I use the restroom?"

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yo mama so fat the only thing stopping her from going to Jenny Craig is the size of the door...

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a show horse jumps over a bar

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How do you make a panda toot? You punch it in the stomach.

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Why would anyone try to run from a fight if:Its not the size of the dog in the fight, its the size of the fight in the dog? I wasn't even talking about dogs and fight isn't something in you! Next time, don't listen to your football coach.

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Penis in a box.

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-Knock Knock -Who is it? -Your father, i forgot my keys.

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why cant blondes water ski.......... because whenever they split their legs they feel somthing wet

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Why didnt the kid go in the pool? Because there was no pool!!

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AVI IS A FAG

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What does Osama Bin Laden and the typical Western man have in common? Extensively modern pornography collections.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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