what did the man with no arms and no legs get for Christmas? cancer.

thumb_up thumb_down +15

You play the piano? What more can you do? Sounds complicated but try me.

thumb_up thumb_down +15

What is a pirate's favourite letter? There is no definitive answer. It depends on the individual pirate, and the environmental and genetic factors that go to make up his or her preference for a particular letter.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

a priest a rabbi and a minister all walk into a bar and the bartender says "is this a joke?"

thumb_up thumb_down +13

why did the old woman die? Because she was too old to live

thumb_up thumb_down +13

Shoot for the moon. Even if you miss, you'll probably just land back on earth.

thumb_up thumb_down +11

Why was the boy sad? He had a frog stapled to his head.

thumb_up thumb_down +11

A man walks into a car dealership. The salesman was nice and he bought a Mercedes.

thumb_up thumb_down +11

Why would you throw a hooker in a lake? To go fishing

thumb_up thumb_down +11

"luke Bastiaan" "So, whens your period?"

thumb_up thumb_down +11

Your Momma is so ugly, she got plastic surgery.

thumb_up thumb_down +11

Why did the Catholic priest get excommunicated from the church? He couldn't read.

thumb_up thumb_down +11

everyone's always talking about the emperor's clothes, don't they know this is murica

thumb_up thumb_down +9

What's white and can't climb a tree? A refridgerator What's white heavy and if it fell out of a tree it would kill you? A polar bear

thumb_up thumb_down +9

Why did Chuck Norris cross the road? Cause he's Chuck Norris

thumb_up thumb_down +9

what happened to the chicken that crossed the road? it got hit by a taco truck

thumb_up thumb_down +9

A man. That is all.

thumb_up thumb_down +9

Wanna hear a joke? Me too.

thumb_up thumb_down +9

What do you call a women with two black eyes? Someone trapped in the cycle of violence that is domestic abuse. The few friends and family members she still speaks with tell she should leave. They don't know about the last time she threatened to leave him, when he held a gun to her throat and screamed "You try an leave me I'll kill you and your precious god damn babies!" Now she suffers silently for fear of what he might do to her family, but is increasingly worried about the way her husband has begun looking at their 13 year old daughter. Every night she kneels at the foot of her bed and prays for death, over the sounds of her own sobbing and her husbands drunken rage. Also she is a slow learner.

thumb_up thumb_down +7

Robocop and T-800 where fighting, first the T-800 manages to injure Robocop critically, but Robocop manages to repair himself and break T-800`s legs off, which T-800 suddenly regrows due to an unexpected upgrade. After several hours of combat, where civilians are injured and half the town is destroyed they where both worn out, but ready for one last struggle... ...Eventually there was a great celebration for whoever won.

thumb_up thumb_down +7

Why did the man throw the clock out the window? Because he was angry and frustrated with the people in his life, and the ringing clock was the first thing he noticed in his depressed rage.

thumb_up thumb_down +7

I do not like the fact that you are linked with the feds.

thumb_up thumb_down +7

A horse walks into a bar. The bartender says "what'll it be?" The horse, unable to understand human language. Takes a shit and walks out.

thumb_up thumb_down +7

I scream! You scream! - You've Just Been Rapped

thumb_up thumb_down +7

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops