How do you find a needle in a haystack? You don't, you're too distracted by the pile of adorable kittens next to it

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roses are red, violets are blue, I talk to myself, and so do it I.

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How do you know a dude is dead? He doesn't breath, he has no color in the face and his heart has stoped.

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What did Batman say to Robin before he got in the car? Get in the car

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Why don't they sell pharmaceuticals in the rain forest? Because it is to sparsely populated and not economically viable.

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A man falls into a lake but no one is around to help him, luckily the man can swim so he got out of the lake and went home feeling embarrassed

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like my drawing of a white person?

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How many jews can you fit in a car? However many seats there are

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what do you get when you cross a chicken and a mad scientest? a mutant chicken

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i like my women like i like my coffee...big boobs

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A: Knock knock. B: Who's there? A: I am.

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The little mouse lifted the giant Elephant up so the Elephant could reach the bag of snacks, but then the Elephant said: I cant reach it, you must be tired so lets switch places... Squish: Squish! Elephant: Mouse! Where are you! *looks at "squish" NO! THIS WAS NOT THE WAY THE JOKE WAS SUPPOSED TO BE!!!!!!! Moral: Elephants cant talk...

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What's big white and cant climb a tree? A refrigerator.

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what is the differents between a baby and a watermelon one is fun to hit the other is just a watermelon

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A man walks into a bar, then he realized he didn't have any money, so he walked out.

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memes

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Why did the girl hang herself? She was constantly bullied in school and on the internet.

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How come Pluto and Goofy are both dogs, but Goofy can talk and Pluto can't? Goofy sold Pluto into slavery in exchange for the power of human speech.

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Why couldn't the 10 year old see the Pirate Movie? Because he was dead...

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I've got the moobs like jagger.

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What's red and invisible? No tomatoes.

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Why was six afraid of seven? Because seven had a raging hard-on and was leering at him.

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What do you call a black man on the moon? An astronaut.

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Babies are like landmines; when you step on them they explode.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops