Knock, Knock Knock, Knock Knock, Knock No One's home.

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What's the difference between a hooker and an onion? I cried when I cut up the onion.

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A teenage boy tells his family that he is gay. His mother says she had always known, and they accept him for who he is.

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A man asked another man what he was doing the next day. The man then proceeded to tell him that he had not intended on having any plans due to the fact that he was planning on killing himself within the next twenty three hours.

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Why did the woman hate waiting in line? Two reasons really: almost an entire day had passed since her last intake of non-prescription drugs plus she was generally apprehensive that the witness would identify her.

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What do you call two Mexicans playing basketball? A game of one-on-one basketball in a common physical education class in present day mexico city.

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Why did the man walk into a bar? I don't know? Ask him. by Burflared

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R2-D2 is quite possibly the most vulgar character on the set of Star Wars. Every word he says is bleeped out.

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Your momma is so boss that I work for her.

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Wife: Do you know what the most untruthful lie I've told you? Husband: What? Wife: That I love you. By the way I'm leaving you for your father. The twins are gay and in love with each other and your daughter is a hooker with AIDS. Your mother killed herself upon hearing all this news. She suffered a lot. Oh, the dog died by rat poisoning that your dad put in the backyard. Bye.

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Q: How many dead people does it take to change a light bulb? A: Trick question...i have sex with them in the dark

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I'm Jewish

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69

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Did you know Helen Keller had a swingset in her backyard Neither did she.

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How did the blond's brain cells die? She had a very acute case of Parkinson's disease.

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What do you call a file named pedo? A. Pedobear B. Toast C. Pedofile

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Why did phil krahn go to the store? To get one of those suits

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Time flies like a banana.

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Why don't they sell pharmaceuticals in the rain forest? Because it is too sparsely populated and not economically viable.

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what happens when you mix a black guy and a Mexican? nothing, it is physically impossible to "mix" people.

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Why did the Catholic priest get excommunicated from the church? He couldn't read.

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What is purple and flies? A purple plane.

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What's worse than a woman driver? Getting a cactus shoved up your ass.

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So I'm balls deep in this turkey dinner....... then i proceed to ejaculate into it and ruin my family's Thanksgiving along with their perception of me.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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