whats the differnce between a baby and a dart board? dart boards dont bleed.

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How do you get a baby to stop crying You kill it

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How do you kill a fly? Shoot it

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What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? Finding half a worm.

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What did the blind, deaf and dumb kid get for his birthday? Broken arms and legs

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What did the man say to his son? Hello, son.

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What did Batman say to Robin before he got in the car? Get in the car

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Why did the women keep scratching her head? Because she had lice

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i hate you.

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"This is not a drill!" - guy holding a hammer

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What's 5+7? Piccillo

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A black and a mexican start a resturaunt it turns out to be a big success and they make a chain and profit from it.

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What's the difference between peanut butter and jam? Peanut butter is a food paste made primarily from dry roasted peanuts, while jam is a product made with whole fruit, that is cut into pieces or crushed.

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What do you call a douche with no arms or legs? A device for washing out the vagina as a contraceptive measure.

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Knock knock. Who's there? *gun shot*

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A woman gets in her car to drive.

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Women's rights

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How do you make a plumber cry? Kill his family

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what does the doctor say to the patient. you have cancer

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Whats worse than finding one worm in your apple? Two worms.

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yo mama so fat, she wheres glasses to see better!

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Q: Why did the cookie go to the doctor? A: Because he had terminal brain cancer.

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What do you get when you cross a grizzly bear and a dolphin? Well, the odds of these two animals mating are slim to none. Due to the undeniable fact that dolphins live in the ocean primarily in the warmer tropical waters and grizzly bears live on land in the pacific northwest where the water would be too cold for the dolphin anyway. The dolphin would be swimming around avoiding sharks and the bear would probably be eating a salmon. But if they did breed you would get a dolphinbear. Although a dolphinbear would have a very low chance of survival given it's part dolphin. Dolphins are pussies.

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Hey are you from Tennessee, 'cause you have a very nice accent.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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