Your mum is dead

thumb_up thumb_down +18

What's one thing a black man can't have? White skin

thumb_up thumb_down +18

Why did the man drop his glasses? His hand was sweaty.

thumb_up thumb_down +18

What's the difference between a mouse and a dinosaur? A lot.

thumb_up thumb_down +18

How do you make a clown cry? You kill his family and chop off his legs.

thumb_up thumb_down +16

What do you call a black guy flying an airplane? A pilot.

thumb_up thumb_down +16

That maternal figure of yours is of such inadequate intelligence that she cannot fathom that, given a scatterplot with a linear correlation of greater than -1 and lesser than 1 and a reasonably consistent rise over run, a future value along the y-axis can be predicted if following the y=a(x)+b equation.

thumb_up thumb_down +16

Jingle bells, batman smells, robin laid an egg.

thumb_up thumb_down +16

Why was Six afraid of Seven? During the crossover episode of Blossom and Star Trek: Voyager. Six traveled ahead to the distant future and found herself on the aforementioned starship. Her situation was confusing and frightening, even more so when the half-female, half-Borg appeared before her.

thumb_up thumb_down +16

Two people were walking down the street. One was assaulted.

thumb_up thumb_down +16

Two friends not to far apart: A: Hey you, you hear me?! B: yes. A: You hear me?! B: yes!! A: You hear me?! B: yes, yes, what!?! A: You hear me?! B: YEEEEEEEES WHAT'S going on?!?! (gets upset) A: Nothing, I'm just checking your hearing.

thumb_up thumb_down +16

what does a nazi and the witch from hansel and gretal have in common, they both put people in ovens.

thumb_up thumb_down +14

Ask me if I'm a giraffe Are you a giraffe? Yes

thumb_up thumb_down +14

why did the monkey fall out of the tree? because it was dead. why did the frog fall out of the tree? because it was stapled to the monkey,

thumb_up thumb_down +14

What happens when you are caught in the serious offense of killing somebody with intent? You get in trouble.

thumb_up thumb_down +14

Someone told me about this website.

thumb_up thumb_down +14

What is purple and flies? A purple plane.

thumb_up thumb_down +12

What do you call a bus full of lawyers at the bottom of the ocean? A tragedy

thumb_up thumb_down +12

Wife: Do you know what the most untruthful lie I've told you? Husband: What? Wife: That I love you. By the way I'm leaving you for your father. The twins are gay and in love with each other and your daughter is a hooker with AIDS. Your mother killed herself upon hearing all this news. She suffered a lot. Oh, the dog died by rat poisoning that your dad put in the backyard. Bye.

thumb_up thumb_down +12

You know what helps with sholder pain? If you lick my butthole.

thumb_up thumb_down +10

9 out of 10 people enjoy gang rape

thumb_up thumb_down +10

Knock-Knock "Who's there?" "It's the police. We have a search warrant."

thumb_up thumb_down +10

i like my women how i like my coffee ....i dont like coffee

thumb_up thumb_down +10

What's pink and fluffy? PINK FLUFF! What's blue and fluffy? BLUE FLUFF HOLDING ITS BREATH!

thumb_up thumb_down +10

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops