What's big, red and looks like a bucket? A small blue bucket labeled big red bucket.

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A guy walks into a restaurant and sits down only to realize he is not wearing any pants. Immediately the police are called and arrest the man for indecent exposure. Given there were children in the restaurant at the time, the man is also charged as level 3 sex offender and is held on $100,000 bail. His family receives the news and become the talk of the town. His wife commits suicide from embarrassment, leaving her 10 year old son up for adoption who later gets involved with drugs due to his rough childhood.

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roses are red, violets are purple, sugar is sweet, and so are... hmmm...

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Where does a leper go every Monday and Wednesday? The dermatologist.

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why did the 8 year old want a squirt gun? his parents were on fire

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What's the difference between a blonde and a brunette? The pigmentation of their hair follicles.

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Q:How do you turn off a Jewish Lamp? A: You press the Auschwitz.

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Why didn't the man show up for work on Monday? He gets Mondays off.

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Why did the archaeologist bury his brother? Because he was dead.

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Go figure, you seemed pretty fucking scared of me back then. "autocast" hypnotic priming, anchors, you know what that is right? You for (as an example) clap your hands whenever you succeed at hypnotizing yourself while staying awake in a lucid state, then you repeat it until you one day just clap, your body remembers the whole sequence and boom it works right away. You did not think that PaulMcKenna could just touch people and have them do what he wants without even telling them what to do right? Especially not McKenna, I learned a lot from Richard Bandler, absolutely nothing from Anthony Robbins, everything I could ever want from Igor Ledochowsky, and absolutely nothing from PaulMcKenna, I went to him last, I should have skipped Both Robbins and Kenna, they use NLP and... Basically call it hypnosis.

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what do you call a black guy in a cop car a cop

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Why was the little kid bullied? Because his name was Hugh Jass.

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A priest, a rabbi and a captain are in a sinking ship. The rabbi says let's save the children. The captain says f*ck the children. The priest days do we have time.

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you mother is so stupid that it takes her quite a while to understand jokes

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Q: What do you call an elephant between two buildings? A: An elephant between two buildings, and the question of how the elephant got there

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Whats the difference between christians and nazis? one suppressed human rights and caused millions of deaths. the others were responsible for the holocaust.

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How do you get a movie star to go out with you? Blackmail.

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a boy walked into a pet store to get his bird some food. they were all out. the bird died.

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What did the black man say to the other black man? Nothing, he was recently involved in a terrible car accident which he barely survived but lost the function of speech and was paralysed from the neck downwards. He is constantly in pain and desperately wants someone to kill him but has no way of communicating this so is forced to wait until his natural death.

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What do you call a black guy with Alzheimer's? TO GET TO THE OTHER SIDE

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look left now look right. washing machine

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The mouse and the elephant went to take a bath. They had a nice time.

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A Blonde walks into a bar. She is an abusive relationship and is drinking her pain away.

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How do you find Nemo? Watch the movie.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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