What did the father tell his son on his death bed? Nothing. He was hit by a car and was now a vegetable.

69

why did every one in the world die? a Train pooped it's pants.

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Why are "Polish" and "polish" spelled the same? The word is a homophone.

What do you call a black guy in space? An astronaut

How many nails does it take to build a house? As many as it takes to get the job done.

How did the chicken cross the road? On it's chicken wings.

Kid: Teacher, what do you hate more than supervising people in detention sessions at this school? Teacher: I am a vegan. Hence meat is relatively dispicable and I abhor it in general.

What's worse than a dead baby in a trash can? The grief the family feels at the loss of their newborn child.

What do you tell a girl with 2 black eyes? You should ice those to preven swelling aron the eyes

The mouse and the elephant went to take a bath. They had a nice time.

Friends are like trees. They fall down when you hit them with an ax.

What did Sam say when the basketball hit her face? Ouch.

What do you call a black armless legless man I Don't know but im kind of hungry

Since little kids sleep with stuffed bears, do bears sleep with stuffed humans?

How do you get a baby to stop crying You kill it

I don't often drink beer. But when I do, I recklessly beat my wife and kids.

What's worse than nine dead babies hanging in a tree? One dead baby hanging in nine trees.

A dyslexic pimp buys a warehouse.

Q: how many Pollocks does it take to paint a house? A: 100. 99 to spin the house and 1 to hold the paint brush

why is the room so dark? because the light is not on.

You know what isn't funny? AIDS. You know what is? Brittany Spears with AIDS...

How do you fit 100 babies into a bowl? You use a blender. How do you get them out? Tostitos scoops.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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