Roses are brown. Violets are brown. It's the middle of winter. Flowers look like poop.

how many jews did hitler kill during the holocaust? too many jews

Why did the small child fall down the stairs? Because he had lung cancer was in a wheel chair and I was incredibly tempted to push him down the stairs.

Whats worse than finding one worm in your apple? Two worms.

Why was Adam sad his dog got ran over? He was holding the dog.

How many Jews does it take to screw in a lightbulb. Two. But it would have to be a very big lightbulb to fit both of them in there.

Knock Knock Whos there Reality* Knock Knock *Opens Door*

Konock Konock Uh, you spelt knock knock wrong... Oh.

What is as ugly as Justin Bieber's face? Justin Bieber's face.

Your mom is so dumb, she has difficulty acquiring a job to support her family.

A rabbi, a preist, and a homosexual are at a bar... What a fine example of a well cultured community.

Q: I am an over-protective father looking for my son who was kidnapped and am suddenly traveling with a mentally retarded woman who cant remember her name. By the way my wife was murdered and my son has physical disorder. Then, im hooked up with a hippy who doesnt care about anything. Who am I? A: Marlin the clownfish (from Finding Nemo).

What's the most annoying thing in the world? Yourself. (Your friends are saying it too, behind your back)

Why did the chicken cross the road? Why did we start questioning the philosophical reasoning of chickens?

A man. That is all.

Last night I saw an elephant in my pajamas. I don't know why I went to the zoo in my pajamas.

What did the bus driver say to the black man? I like your shoes.

How many blonds does it take to kidnap a child? One.

How did the people get into the pyramid?? They didn't

why did the kid kill himslelf? he was bullied.

A man went to the doctor and told him he was having the strangest dream. "First I was a tee pee Then I was a wigwam A tee pee, a wigwam. Do you have any idea what could be wrong?" The doctor looked at the man and said "You have aids."

How do women learn to drive? Drivers ED.

Why did Tommy cry? His tear glands emptied out of his eyes

FIONN'S HAIR 1 LIKE = £1 FOR A HAIRCUT

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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