Q: Why don't blind people skydive? A:Because it is scary

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i am a duck. are you a duck. yes i am a duck.

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Why can't Jimmy drive the tractor? Because Jimmy has no legs. Why doesn't he have any legs? Because he's a potato.

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A Poem that would be from a stocker: Roses are Red Violets are Blue I have a Gun Get in the Van and NOW!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

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Go figure, you seemed pretty fucking scared of me back then. "autocast" hypnotic priming, anchors, you know what that is right? You for (as an example) clap your hands whenever you succeed at hypnotizing yourself while staying awake in a lucid state, then you repeat it until you one day just clap, your body remembers the whole sequence and boom it works right away. You did not think that PaulMcKenna could just touch people and have them do what he wants without even telling them what to do right? Especially not McKenna, I learned a lot from Richard Bandler, absolutely nothing from Anthony Robbins, everything I could ever want from Igor Ledochowsky, and absolutely nothing from PaulMcKenna, I went to him last, I should have skipped Both Robbins and Kenna, they use NLP and... Basically call it hypnosis.

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?2 guys walk into a bar. One gets a beer the other get water.

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Why did the man fall down the steps? I shot him in the face.

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Q: What do you call an elephant between two buildings? A: An elephant between two buildings, and the question of how the elephant got there

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What do You call a black porn star from alaska? By their first or full name depending on your relationship with them and the situation.

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Why doesn't Superman eat peanuts? He doesn't like them

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? Beacuse it was dead.

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Fuzzy Wuzzy was a bear Fuzzy Wuzzy had no hair because he had cancer

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because he wanted to.

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Why was the woman poor at driving? Because she had not yet passed her driving test.

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A man walks into a bar and says "Ouch!" Passersby notice the man is blind, which caused him not to notice the bar. He later died in the hospital from severe head trauma

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crime in multi story is wrong on so many levels!

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The mouse and the elephant went to take a bath. They had a nice time.

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What happened to the orphan on Christmas? he got raped

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What runs faster than a dead baby? Almost everything.

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A black man accidentally walks into a white man. They apologize to each other and carry on with the rest of their day.

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A Blonde walks into a bar. She is an abusive relationship and is drinking her pain away.

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How do you know when there's a terrorist in an airport? There's a camel in the parking lot.

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What did the black man say to the other black man? Nothing, he was recently involved in a terrible car accident which he barely survived but lost the function of speech and was paralysed from the neck downwards. He is constantly in pain and desperately wants someone to kill him but has no way of communicating this so is forced to wait until his natural death.

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your momma is so stupid she failed math class

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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