How do women learn to drive? Drivers ED.

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What do you tell a woman with two black eyes? That she should train harder for her next boxing match, or find a less physically demanding hobby to partake in.

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Whats worse than finding a worm in your apple? Finding two worms in your apple.

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How do you stop a skunk from smelling? Block its nose.

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What's the difference between Paris Hilton and a cow? Cows are ruminants, meaning that they have a digestive system that allows use of otherwise indigestible foods by regurgitating and rechewing them as "cud". Paris Hilton, on the other hand, is a human being. Therefore, her stomach digests the bolus (masticated food) only after it has exited the oesophagus into the body of the organ, where it is digested into chyme and then passed through the pyloric sphincter into the duodenum.

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Q- Why was Dan mourning the death of his wife? A- He wasn't he was mourning the death of his daughter who was killed in the same car crash as her mother.

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One time I was playing hide and seek with grandma but I couldn't seem to find her. I asked my sister for help and she told me she was hiding in the living room on the shelf. I went into the living room but all I saw was a vase on the shelf. Grandma probably didn't know the game was over so I opened the vase to tell her. To this day she hasn't come out of the vase.

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My mom just died....

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in 2001 a man was working happily in his office cubicle and got an email from his boss saying that he had great news for him. filled with excitment he knew he was getting A big promotion and could finally afford that new toy his kid has always wanted. Feeling great the man walks up to the office window to enjoy the view he notices a very large commercial airliner flying straight towards his office.

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What's the difference between a Jew and a pizza? You shouldn't eat Jews, unless your a cannibal for which you should seek psychological help.

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Why was the man so unhappy. he died

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Roses are black Violets are black Everything is black Because I'm blind

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What is a pirate's favourite letter? There is no definitive answer. It depends on the individual pirate, and the environmental and genetic factors that go to make up his or her preference for a particular letter.

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If you're a man, why don't you want to drop the soap in prison? The shower floors are disgusting and carry bacteria. No way would any person -- man or woman -- want to touch it.

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HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA

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Q: Why did the horse put on cologne? A: He wanted to smell nice.

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How do you make a plumber cry? Make his family cry!!!!!!!!!

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Why did the woman hate waiting in line? Two reasons really: almost an entire day had passed since her last intake of non-prescription drugs plus she was generally apprehensive that the witness would identify her.

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Why was the little girl lying on the floor. Because she got shot.

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Knock Knock! Who's There? Not Steve Jobs.

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A black man picks up his phone and calls his wife and finds out he had no wife

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How much wood would a wood chuck chuck if a wood chuck could chuck Chuck Norris? Cheese on toast.

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wheres a good place to find funny jokes? anti-joke.com

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What's worse than a woman driver? Getting a cactus shoved up your ass.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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