What did Sam say when the basketball hit her face? Ouch.

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How do you get a movie star to go out with you? Blackmail.

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A man walks into a bar. The bartender asks what he'd like to drink. The man pulls out his gun, shoots the surprised bartender, and proceeds to execute all the patrons of the bar and finally commit suicide. A post-mortem identification of the man identifies him as a victim of childhood sexual abuse and a diagnosed schizophrenic. There is a nice funeral for all the victims and the media respectfully minimizes exposure of the event.

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Q. WHAT IS SPECIAL ABOUT GEORGE BUSH? A. NOTHING

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here's a great way to ruin someone's 'knock knock' joke: Knock knock Come in!

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What do you call a woman who has one leg that's shorter than the other? Asymmetrical.

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Did you know why people actually fear clowns? Because slapstick humor is dead

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How do you find a needle in a haystack? You don't, you're too distracted by the pile of adorable kittens next to it

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Why was 6 afraid of 7? Because 7 was infamous for stealing people's laundry, and 6 was insecure about his bare body

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Babies are like landmines; when you step on them they explode.

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Knock Knock There's no door here, I'm right in front of you.

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Wha'ts Slippery when wet? A Wet Slipper.

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How do you get a black man off a swing? ask him.

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Whats worse than finding one worm in your apple? Two worms.

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Why did the black homeowner default on his house? He was paying significantly more in mortgage than the actual market value of the home, since he purchased his property before the housing bubble. He carried out a cost/benefit analysis and derived the conclusion that he was effectively destroying his own wealth by paying his mortgage bills.

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What's worse than missing your favorite TV show? 9/11.

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"This is not a drill!" - guy holding a hammer

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Your mama's so fat her patronus is a cake

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What's worse than 20 babies stapled to one tree? Getting life imprisonment after...

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yo mama so fat, she wheres glasses to see better!

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, You have AIDS, I'm very sorry

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whats the difference between a black person , spook and a porchmoney.... there is none there all stupid stinky n-ag-ger-s

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What did the white man hand to the mexican? His college degree because the mexican had completed all four years of college with a 4.0 GPA.

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What does a girl get from a dead MAN:)?? Nothing he is dead.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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