everyone's always talking about the emperor's clothes, don't they know this is murica

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I like my women like I like my coffee... Without a penis.

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Hey, I just met you And this is crazy, but you're getting too close And I'm about to file a restraining order, so back up, maybe?

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What do u call a black pope? A poooooopppp!

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Why wasn't Pat able to get an erection? Because Pat is a girl.

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why is the grass green? all the other colors in the electromagnetic spectrurm are absorbed except for green which is reflected and thats the only visable color

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How many women does it take to change a lightbulb? None, let the bitch cook in the dark.

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what do you call a diver with no arms and no legs? a bobber

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Why did the chicken cross the road? It was being chased by a wolf that eventually killed and ate it.

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Why was six afraid of seven? Because seven shot up his school and ate nine kids. Also before he was arrested he told six he was going to blow his brains out. Then he murdered the police and has been on the run ever since.

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Steven Hawking walks into a bar. This of course is impossible, as his ailments prevent him from walking.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because chickens have feeble minds and tend to wander around.

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How do you make a napkin dance? You can't. Stop having such unrealistic aspirations.

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Why is the world round? The early earth was molten, and a liquid in a vacuum subject only to its own gravitational forces will assume the shape of a sphere. Gases will behave in the same manner. The effects of the sun and other planets, plus the rotational effect have caused the earth to assume a round shape.

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An Arab walks into a bar. He then blows up the bar.

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Whats white and cant fly an aeroplane? A fridge

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What is worse worse than stubbing your toe? The Holocaust.

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Is you refrigerator running? That's odd you should call the cops about that one!

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What olympic event is Kosovo best known for getting gold? Kosovo is the world's newest country and therefore does not yet have complete international recognition.

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what's funnier than a dead baby? a lot of less tragic things

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How do you make a girl happy then sad within 5 seconds? Buy her a pony and then shoot it

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How many jews died in a gas chamber? None because the holocaust is a myth.

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Roses are red. Violets are blue. I have Alzheimer's. Where are the keys?

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What are the things that define you? The things that define you.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops