How do you kill a fly? Shoot it

thumb_up thumb_down +32

What did the man say to his son? Hello, son.

thumb_up thumb_down +32

What did Batman say to Robin before he got in the car? Get in the car

thumb_up thumb_down +30

Why did the women keep scratching her head? Because she had lice

thumb_up thumb_down +30

i hate you.

thumb_up thumb_down +30

"This is not a drill!" - guy holding a hammer

thumb_up thumb_down +30

A woman gets in her car to drive.

thumb_up thumb_down +28

Knock knock. Who's there? *gun shot*

thumb_up thumb_down +28

What's the difference between peanut butter and jam? Peanut butter is a food paste made primarily from dry roasted peanuts, while jam is a product made with whole fruit, that is cut into pieces or crushed.

thumb_up thumb_down +28

What's 5+7? Piccillo

thumb_up thumb_down +28

What do you call a douche with no arms or legs? A device for washing out the vagina as a contraceptive measure.

thumb_up thumb_down +28

Women's rights

thumb_up thumb_down +28

How do you make a plumber cry? Kill his family

thumb_up thumb_down +26

what does the doctor say to the patient. you have cancer

thumb_up thumb_down +26

Whats worse than finding one worm in your apple? Two worms.

thumb_up thumb_down +24

yo mama so fat, she wheres glasses to see better!

thumb_up thumb_down +24

What do you get when you cross a grizzly bear and a dolphin? Well, the odds of these two animals mating are slim to none. Due to the undeniable fact that dolphins live in the ocean primarily in the warmer tropical waters and grizzly bears live on land in the pacific northwest where the water would be too cold for the dolphin anyway. The dolphin would be swimming around avoiding sharks and the bear would probably be eating a salmon. But if they did breed you would get a dolphinbear. Although a dolphinbear would have a very low chance of survival given it's part dolphin. Dolphins are pussies.

thumb_up thumb_down +24

Q: Why did the cookie go to the doctor? A: Because he had terminal brain cancer.

thumb_up thumb_down +24

What is the same about a girrafe, and an ant? They are both REALLY tall. Except for the ant, sorry I lied.

thumb_up thumb_down +22

Hey are you from Tennessee, 'cause you have a very nice accent.

thumb_up thumb_down +22

Is this Chick-fil-a? No, this is Joe.

thumb_up thumb_down +22

How do you make a mail man cry? Run him over with a forklift.

thumb_up thumb_down +20

a rabbi sees a nazi in time square. he simply walks past because as we are in america the nazi can do nothing to harm him.

thumb_up thumb_down +20

How do you kill one Jew. A gun. How do you kill a thousand Jews. With a millon angery germans.

thumb_up thumb_down +20

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops