A horse walks into a bar. Bartender says, "Why the long face?" The horse does not respond because it is a horse. It can neither speak nor understand English. It is confused by it surroundings, and gallops out of the bar, knocking over a few tables.

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A priest, a rabbi, and an atheist walk into a bar. They sit down and have a calm discussion about the differences in their beliefs.

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A mute says to a paraplegic: You can talk the talk - but can you walk the walk?

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Why couldn't the little boy skate? He had cancer.

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Why didn't the Mammoth go to school? Because his species went extinct before the development of organized education. And he's also a Mammoth.

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Why did the boy cross the road Because he needed to get to the bus stop

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Knock knock (No one is home)

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suck my dick.

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What is worse than being ran over by a bus? Nothing really.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? To mourn the loss of his daughter who died due a fatal car crash, caused by him while he was driving. across the street

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, Dandelions are yellow, and so are sunflowers.

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Why did little susie fall off the swing? because she had no arms. Knock knock who's there? not susie

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Why did the man stay in the basement? Because he was addicted to pornography and it was tearing his family apart. Eventually he was unable to tell the diffidence between fantasy and reality and sexually assaulted his 13 year old niece.

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What Starts with P and ends with O-R-N? Popcorn.

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I'm on the seafood diet. A large proportion of my daily food intake is fish.

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Q: How do you fit a giraffe inside a refrigerator? A: You can't, it is physically impossible...

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Roses are red Violets r blue My name is Dave Microwave

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How do you get a baby to stop crying You kill it

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I don't often drink beer. But when I do, I recklessly beat my wife and kids.

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How do you know a dude is dead? He doesn't breath, he has no color in the face and his heart has stoped.

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whats the differnce between a baby and a dart board? dart boards dont bleed.

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If you have 10 fish and you drown 5 how many do you have left? 10... you can't drown a fish, and even if you could you would still have 10 because there would still be there, they would just be dead. 5 alive, 5 dead

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What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? Finding half a worm.

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What did the blind, deaf and dumb kid get for his birthday? Broken arms and legs

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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