Why did the man buy a rope? Because he needed a noose

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I feel like am motherf***ing stuck in this dock and it makes me wana quack like what the hell is THAT!

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Why are there no Mexican people on Star Trek? Because the casting director screened thousands of actors and actresses and assembled what he/she felt was the most talented cast to create and sustain a long running television series. Unfortunately no one of Mexican dissent was awarded a role.

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why was the cow laying down? because little johnny shot him with a 50 calliber

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Why did the girl fall off of the swing? Because she had no arms.

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Whats funnier than a anti-joke? 911

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What did the man do when he saw the dog? Ran it over

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Why was 9 afraid of 1? Because when dialed together, an emergency call was most likely coming and 9 is very sensitive to those types of moments

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a man and a woman are standing at a bar. they have a few drinks and then go home and die.

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why is 6 afraid of 7?? because 7 8 9

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so a guy walks into the bar...i forget the rest of the jokes but your mother is a whore.

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Bumsniffer

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How many dead babies can you fit in a cooler? 5. using a blender to puree` = 9

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What did my mom get for christmas? My dad, D1ck in a box. My dad's name is Richard.

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What's more dangerous than bungee jumping without a rope? Getting into a car with Ben Colbert.

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Did you hear about that one time (@ band camp lol) where there was a little boy and he wanted to go swimming sooooo abd and then ooo look squirrel

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How did the blonde screw in a lightbulb? She didn't, she fell and broke her neck and went to a hospital. Thus you should not laugh.

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A hot girl walks by a boy and he stares at her as she walks past. She see's him and asks "What are you looking at?", to which the boy replied "Oh I'm sorry. You happened to look familiar and I thought 'Perhaps I've met this person before. School? No. Work? No. I then concluded I've never seen you before and then you turned around and asked me what I was looking at".

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When Jesus came back from the dead the first thing he said was "It was just a prank bro!"

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your momma so ugly even she wouldnt date herself.

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in the begining... god made some stuff

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Q: How much does a hipster weigh? A: It varies largely by hipster, the same way it does with any other person.

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what has two legs and bleeds? half a dog

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Life is like a box of chocolates. You eat them. get fat. Die.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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