Why can't Sally brush her hair? Because she has leukemia.

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A small plane is carrying three passengers: a young boy scout, a priest, and the smartest black man on earth. Due to improper planning, there are only three parachutes on the plane. The engines cut and the pilot takes a parachute and jumps out of the plane. The black man says, "I am the smartest black man in the world. I need to live." He takes a parachute and jumps out of the plane. The priest says to the boy scout, "Son, you take the last parachute. I have lived a full life." After a very touching moment, the boy scout puts on the parachute and jumps out of the plane. Minutes later, the priest dies a horrific death as the plane crashes into the desert.

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Two colleague janitors sit next to each other in the coffee room, one says to the other: About yesterday... I checked three times and it looks pretty normal. Sorry... I wasn't around to hear the question the other posed the day before, but I heard it's supposed to be pretty funny with this answer. So... Less is better then none, right?

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Why is the boy severely mentally scarred? He got raped.

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Hey, want to hear a joke? Women's Rights

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Q: Ask me if I'm a tree. A: No, I am not a tree.

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How do you make a plumber cry? Kill his family

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A rabbi, a preist, and a homosexual are at a bar... What a fine example of a well cultured community.

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Haiku's Are Easy. But Don't Always Make Much Sense. Refrigerator.

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What does your girlfriend eat every morning that is white, warm and sticky? Oatmeal

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minced oaths

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Your mama's so fat, that during her last physical checkup, her attending physician informed her that it would be in her best interest to lose some weight before any serious medical conditions arose that would adversely affect her health and well being in a chronic fashion.

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Brian Singmaster. Look him up, he's cute.

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why do cats hate dogs? because cats were bullied by dogs in highschool.

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What's funnier than a bus full of burning babies? Nothing.

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What do you call a Mexican man in prison? A prison officer.

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What did the dead baby say to his mother? Nothing. He's dead.

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A van drives into a car. An hour earlier, the man who was driving the van walked into a bar.

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yo mama so fat she's fat

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Why was the little boy sad? Because he had a fox stapled to his face.

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how do you stop a speeding car? Put your foot on the brake

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what's white on top and black on the bottom? Society

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What do you call a muslim behind the controls of an airliner? A pilot you rascist.

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Whats worse than finding one worm in your apple? Two worms.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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