How do you kill a blue elephant? How? With a blue elephant gun. How do you kill a pink elephant? How? You hold it's nose until it turns blue, then you shoot it with a blue elephant gun. How do you kill a orange elephant? How? You can't, they don't exist. How do you kill a white elephant? How? You tickle it till it turns pink, then you hold it's noose until it turns blue, then you shoot it with a blue elephant gun.

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Q: Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? A: Because he was dead.

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Two guys walk into a bar... They sat down, had a few drinks and left without any incident.

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A polish, english and african man each were standing on a skyscraper. The african man jumped and died. The polish and enlgish men called 999.

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What's sad about 3 Black Guys in a Camero? It was my car...

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Why did the boy eat his homework? Because he already ate his dog.

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knock knock, who's there? you goodbye

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why couldnt the gay man marry??? cause he was dead.

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man: honey im home woman: john im pregnant man: but i have a low sperm count! this is a miracle! woman: its not your baby its steves from the store man:but he's mexican! woman: i know.....i need an abortion. {lol racism}

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Why did the archaeologist bury his brother? Because he was dead.

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A man walks into a bar. The bartender asks what he'd like to drink. The man pulls out his gun, shoots the surprised bartender, and proceeds to execute all the patrons of the bar and finally commit suicide. A post-mortem identification of the man identifies him as a victim of childhood sexual abuse and a diagnosed schizophrenic. There is a nice funeral for all the victims and the media respectfully minimizes exposure of the event.

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What do you call a person with no eyes? Blind.

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What do you call a cat with no legs and an inverted anus? Nothing, you're to horrified to speak.

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Why did the blonde buy a condom? Because she had a penis.

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Need homeless tips? Get A Job.

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Girl: Do you like me :D Boy: No Girl: =( Boy: You didn'y ask me if i loved you Girl: :D Do you love me Boy: Naw

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What did batman say to robin befor they got in the car? Robin, get in the car.

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How many perverts does it take to screw a lightbulb?

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Why did Rose throw the clock out the window? Because she's a moron.

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"Knock knock" "Who's there?" "Your landlord, clear out your stuff by tuesday"

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i like my women like i like my coffee...big boobs

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Why doesn't Superman eat peanuts? He doesn't like them

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What do you call a man with three arms and three legs and no nose. A highly unlikely instance that no one would believe is real.

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how many jews did hitler kill during the holocaust? too many jews

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops