- Anti Joke

what did the orphan say to the adults wanting to adopt him? i hope u will provide well living conditions because i have lost both of my parents and am forced to live off one meal a day

What do you call a fly with no wings? A fly.

What do you call a black man selling drugs? A pharmacist

A man asked another man what he was doing the next day. The man then proceeded to tell him that he had not intended on having any plans due to the fact that he was planning on killing himself within the next twenty three hours.

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Why did the man pee his pants? Because he was paralyzed from the waste down and had no way of feeling

What's the difference between black people and dog shit? One of them eventually turns white and stops smelling.

How did the chicken cross the road? He went to the crosswalk so all the cars had to stop for him.

Three men are stranded, mid-ocean, in a small rowboat. They realize quickly that their imminent demise is slowly creeping into the forefront of their consciousnesses. Just as all hope seem to be lost, one man noticed an island covered in luscious foliage about five hundred yards away. A problem reared it's head as it became apparent that an unrelenting riptide was dragging the boat further and further from the shore and, in turn, salvation. It became further apparent that the men would have to abandon their rickety rowboat and swim the rest of the way. The first man bravely jumps into the vast uncertainty of the ocean and attempts to swim to shore. He is met by a large shark that promptly severs his arm from his body. A bloody mess, he manages to touch down on the sandy beach. The second man, more reluctantly, also jumps in. He balanced his chances: "100% death in the boat vs. uncertainty in the ocean." Like the first man, the second man meets the shark's vicious bite. His leg is severed and he too drags himself, bloody, to the warm embrace of sand and freedom. The third man, sure that he would be bitten also, jumps into the ocean and swims to shore. Alas! The third man arrived on the island unscathed and completely fine. Perplexed, the first two men asked the third why the shark did not attack him. The third man simply smiled and replied..."what do you expect me for, a typewriter?"

Why dont dinosaurs speak english? Because a meteor hit the earth and ran them into extinction

Why did the young woman have a sore vagina? Because she just experienced intercourse for the first time and her partner was not as gentle as he should've been, given the situation.

Abraham Lincoln was the 16th Presient of the United States of America. The president to follow him was Andrew Johnson, president number 17.

knock, knock whos there? steve steve who? steve johnson hi steve

Roses are red Violets are blue Sunflowers are yellow You thought that this would be romantic, but alas, it is only gardening facts

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK! Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops

An Englishman, Irishman and Scotsman walk into a bar. It happens frequently at UK airports.

Why did the chicken cross the road? It didn't. It was in the oven

Whats funnier than killing a black guy. Nothing, it's not funny.

When life gives you lemons, throw them away. Nobody likes lemons.

Two blondes walk into a bar. There is a fat man there, but nobody talks to him

Trust me im a doctor but this is pratice

what did the orphan say to the adults wanting to adopt him? i hope u will provide well living conditions because i have lost both of my parents and am forced to live off one meal a day

What do you call a fly with no wings? A fly.

What do you call a black man selling drugs? A pharmacist

A man asked another man what he was doing the next day. The man then proceeded to tell him that he had not intended on having any plans due to the fact that he was planning on killing himself within the next twenty three hours.

Avery has crabs.

Do thumbs down me likes in this anti joke website?

Why did the man pee his pants? Because he was paralyzed from the waste down and had no way of feeling

What's the difference between black people and dog shit? One of them eventually turns white and stops smelling.

How did the chicken cross the road? He went to the crosswalk so all the cars had to stop for him.

The glass is half an hour.

Why dont dinosaurs speak english? Because a meteor hit the earth and ran them into extinction

Why did the young woman have a sore vagina? Because she just experienced intercourse for the first time and her partner was not as gentle as he should've been, given the situation.

Abraham Lincoln was the 16th Presient of the United States of America. The president to follow him was Andrew Johnson, president number 17.

knock, knock whos there? steve steve who? steve johnson hi steve

Roses are red Violets are blue Sunflowers are yellow You thought that this would be romantic, but alas, it is only gardening facts

Dozer has a soul

A guy is playing cod

Anti Joke

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