How do you catch a squirrel? Use a live, humane trap, and release it back into the wild afterwards.

I just made up a joke! How many women does it take to screw in a light bulb? Seven. The ending needs some work...

Why did the chicken cross the road? It didn't, it got hit by a car.

Why don't I ever lmao? Because my ass got bitten off by a bear.

What's has 4 wheels But ain't a blue car A red car

Roses are penis Violets are penis I like penis Penis

whats the difference between a jew and a boyscout? A boyscout comes home from camp.

What's white and can't climb a tree? A refridgerator What's white heavy and if it fell out of a tree it would kill you? A polar bear

Why did the chicken cross the road? -I don't care

Giving birth to the antichrist

What's worse than being swallowed by a blue whale? Being swallowed by a bule whale with herpes.

What's black and white, and red all over? newspaper...

If through some strange space-time paradox, Chuck Norris ever had to fight himself, Chuck Norris would-- What am I saying, that would never happen!

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Write your own

What is fat and ugly? Your American MUM!

So I'm balls deep in this turkey dinner....... then i proceed to ejaculate into it and ruin my family's Thanksgiving along with their perception of me.

Why does this dog have herpes? Global Warming.

Why couldn't the prostitute count to 70? She grew up in a poor family and couldn't pay for a good education.

Yo mamas so fat, that she brought a spoon to the super bowl!

Q: Why did the chicken cross the road? A: Its a chicken, giving it the tendencies to wander if not properly fenced in.

So a man dipped his balls in sloppy joe sauce.

What is really hard around Kim Kardashian? Diamonds.

When I'm through with you... They will never find your body... And even if they did... All they find would be teeth!!!

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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