whats the hardest part of the vegetable to eat? the wheelchair

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A man walks into a bar. Several hours later he staggers out and drives into an oncoming school bus, killing all occupants. He survives to live with the grief for the rest of his life and attempts to commit suicide several times.

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A Horse walks into a bar. Bartender:why the long face? Horse:I have terminal cancer.

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A squirrel got killed by getting hit by a truck haha its funny cuz the squirrel died

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how do you make a plumber cry? Kill his family.

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2 blonds are driving on the road on their way to Disney Land. They come to the sign that says Disney Land left so they started crying, turned around and went home.

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What's worse than failing out of high school? Finding out your mom has cancer.

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women's lacrosse.

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Whats green and fuzzy, and if it falls out of a tree you'll die? A pool table.

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Yo mommas so stupid, she got raped.

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Q: What's black and blue and red all over? A: I'm not sure. If it's red all over, it's not going to be black or blue.

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Patrick is gay

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A Rabbi, A Priest and an Imam walk into a bar. The Imam doesn't order a drink because it is strictly against his religious beliefs.

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Why is Michael J Fox so good at using shake weights? Because he is motivated to stay in good physical shape.

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Have you seen Stevie Wonders new house. No. Neither has he

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How do you make a dog drink? You put the dog in a blender

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Do you know karate, shorty? Or are those bruises from an abusive father?

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im black

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Whats the difference between a black guy and a pizza? A black guy is a human being, and a pizza is a food you racist.

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A young boy is concerned about his fathers health, due to the fact he may have cancer. Turns out, he doesn't. So they got ice cream.

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A piece of rope walks into a bar, and asks for a beer. The bartender says, "Sorry, we don't serve ropes here." The rope goes into the bathroom, ties himself into a knot, then rubs himself against the walls until his ends are ragged. Then he walks out and says to the bartender: "I'm a frayed knot." The bartender replies, "Right, I see that you've tied yourself into a knot and frayed your ends. So what? What are you trying to prove?" "Well, I...I mean, it was supposed to be a pun, and you were supposed to react like...like it was..." "Look, I thought I was doing you something nice by letting you use the restroom, even though I told you we don't serve ropes here. And then you go in there and rub yourself against the walls or some crazy shit, and probably get them all dirty, and you come out and expect I'm going to give you a drink because of a pun? Is that how you think this works? Get out of my bar before I call the police." The rope slinks out, still tied in a knot, and eventually finds somebody willing to buy a bottle of cheap vodka for him at a liquor store. He never sets foot in the bar again.

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Hey are you from Tennessee, 'cause you have a very nice accent.

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your mom is so old she was put in an old age home

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The economy sucks. REM broke up. A man killed himself.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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