A Jew, a Muslim, and a homosexual jump from a cliff to see who gets to the bottom first. Who wins? Society.

thumb_up thumb_down -37

Why is there so much hate in the world? Because you touch yourself at night.

thumb_up thumb_down -39

Your momma's so fat that when she uses a hoolahoop, she gets tired after one try and has to stop.

thumb_up thumb_down -39

why was the man coughing? because there was a knife in his throat.

thumb_up thumb_down -41

Knock knock. Who's there? Me. ME?!

thumb_up thumb_down +60

why did the 8 year old want a squirt gun? his parents were on fire

thumb_up thumb_down +58

GAY PEOPLE

thumb_up thumb_down +54

Roses are red, Violets are blueish, Without Hitler, We'd all be Jewish.

thumb_up thumb_down +52

GLaDOS: So... this cat loves lasagna so much that he eats all of the lasagna in his house. Okay, apparently it's not the cat's house or his lasagna. Oh good! The man who owns the lasagna is furious! GLaDOS: The end. GLaDOS: The end? GLaDOS: That's not funny. GLaDOS: Do either of you feel like laughing? GLaDOS: Alright, I'm pulling you out. GLaDOS: Welcome back. While you were dead, I reworked the cartoon. It's up on the screen. GLaDOS: As you can see, in my version the man points out to the cat that the house is equipped with deadly neurotoxin dispensers. GLaDOS: At which point the cat reflects on the time he ate all of the man's lasagna and feels remorse. GLaDOS: Briefly. GLaDOS: Reactions? GLaDOS: Yes, it's funny because most of it actually happened.

thumb_up thumb_down +52

What time is it when an elephant sits on your car? 12:00

thumb_up thumb_down +52

The doctor said he had good news and bad news. I asked for the bad news first. He said, "You have AIDS. I asked what the good news was. He said "You will only have it about a year."

thumb_up thumb_down +50

In Soviet Russia, you shit on bird.

thumb_up thumb_down +50

A bar walks into a bar, it is then you realize you are in an alternate dimension.

thumb_up thumb_down +48

Why did the boy eat his homework? Because he already ate his dog.

thumb_up thumb_down +48

A priest, a rabbi, and an atheist walk into a bar. They sit down and have a calm discussion about the differences in their beliefs.

thumb_up thumb_down +48

Whats worse than a flat tire? penile fracture

thumb_up thumb_down +44

why did the fox jump over the pen ? it was tuesday

thumb_up thumb_down +44

What did Sam say when the basketball hit her face? Ouch.

thumb_up thumb_down +42

The doctor comes out of the room and tells the new parents that there is good news and bad news. The couple says they want to hear the bad news first. The doctor says "your baby is black." The couple then ask "what is the good news?", the doctor replies "your baby is dead."

thumb_up thumb_down +42

whats worse than the halocaust? disney channel.

thumb_up thumb_down +42

Why didn't the Mammoth go to school? Because his species went extinct before the development of organized education. And he's also a Mammoth.

thumb_up thumb_down +42

What's meaner than taking a candy from a baby? Tossing the baby of a cliff

thumb_up thumb_down +40

what do you call four black people in a red sleeping bag? -a very snug sleeping bag as they can rarely fit more then one person comfortably

thumb_up thumb_down +38

An Irish man, a Scottish man and an English man walk into a bar ... The Irish man's a bit dim, the Scotsman's tight with money and the Englishman's a bit of a racist.

thumb_up thumb_down +38

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops