whats the difference between a baby and a watermelon? ones delicious and the other is a watermelon

The man who ran behind the bus got exhausted. The man who ran in front of the bus got tired. The first one survived.

What do you call a black man with scissors.? A Barber.

what do you call a sock that is no longer white a dirty sock

Knock knock Who's there? The police, we know you've been pirating movies.

What did a cat said to another cat? Nothing because cata dont talk.

i am a duck. are you a duck. yes i am a duck.

A horse walks into a bar. Bartender says, "Why the long face?" The horse does not respond because it is a horse. It can neither speak nor understand English. It is confused by it surroundings, and gallops out of the bar, knocking over a few tables.

what do you call a cup?... a cup

Why did Helen Kellers dog run away? You would too if your name was Hjshdvcyehbretafvvba.

suck my dick.

Why was the little kid bullied? Because his name was Hugh Jass.

What s faster than a black guy with a TV? His brother with a VCR.

What did Steven Hawking say to God after he died? Nothing. He can't talk.

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Go figure, you seemed pretty fucking scared of me back then. "autocast" hypnotic priming, anchors, you know what that is right? You for (as an example) clap your hands whenever you succeed at hypnotizing yourself while staying awake in a lucid state, then you repeat it until you one day just clap, your body remembers the whole sequence and boom it works right away. You did not think that PaulMcKenna could just touch people and have them do what he wants without even telling them what to do right? Especially not McKenna, I learned a lot from Richard Bandler, absolutely nothing from Anthony Robbins, everything I could ever want from Igor Ledochowsky, and absolutely nothing from PaulMcKenna, I went to him last, I should have skipped Both Robbins and Kenna, they use NLP and... Basically call it hypnosis.

Why did the man go to the restaurant? Because he wanted to get some food.

What did the Muslim do after his friend told him a funny joke ? Laugh.

Why did the chicken cross the road? To mourn the loss of his daughter who died due a fatal car crash, caused by him while he was driving. across the street

A priest and a rabbi walk into a bar. The priest is a former alcoholic, and has the strength to turn around and leave.

A mute says to a paraplegic: You can talk the talk - but can you walk the walk?

Why doesn't Superman eat peanuts? He doesn't like them

What did Bill go for his birthday? No where someone slashed his tires.

When was Timothy born? He wasn't.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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