What does a bug do in a telephone booth? Eats yogurt.

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Why did the lady spill her coffee? The waiter accidently ran into her and then apologized.

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What did one lawyer say to the other lawyer? Horse semen

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I learned a new party trick over the weekend; I swallow a piece of string and it comes out my other end tied! I shit you knot.

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Three blondes are walking through the woods when the come upon a set of tracks. The blondes stepped away from the tracks to watch the train as it went by.

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A horse walks into a bar. Bartender says, "Why the long face?" The horse does not respond because it is a horse. It can neither speak nor understand English. It is confused by it surroundings, and gallops out of the bar, knocking over a few tables.

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what's your favorite soccer team? liverpool

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Why is Ellen so funny? Because she is a comedian.

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How do you know a dude is dead? He doesn't breath, he has no color in the face and his heart has stoped.

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When was Timothy born? He wasn't.

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Kid: Teacher, what do you hate more than supervising people in detention sessions at this school? Teacher: I am a vegan. Hence meat is relatively dispicable and I abhor it in general.

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Why did little susie fall off the swing? because she had no arms. Knock knock who's there? not susie

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I'm so hungry, I could eat an adequately sized meal

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Whats the difference between pizza and Jews Pizzas dont scream when their put in the oven

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Do you know why your mom is so bold? Becaus she's got cancer

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666 im christian

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What did the man say to his son? Hello, son.

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How many dead babies does it take to paint a house red. Babies, especially dead ones cannot paint.

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Banana(s)

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What did one deer say to the other? Nothing. The second deer was killed while they were eating and now the first deer is scarred dot life.

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Why did the black homeowner default on his house? He was paying significantly more in mortgage than the actual market value of the home, since he purchased his property before the housing bubble. He carried out a cost/benefit analysis and derived the conclusion that he was effectively destroying his own wealth by paying his mortgage bills.

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A white man, a black man and a muslim walk into a bar. The bar explodes, but the white man is the only one that dies, thanks to reasonable accommodations.

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your mother is so lesbian

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What's worse than missing your favorite TV show? 9/11.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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