Did you hear the one about the man who went into the jungle wearing nothing but leopard print underwear? He was suffering from psychogenic fugue disorder and had no idea who or where he was. He was eventually eaten alive by a flesh-eating centipede. When his wife found out, she committed suicide.

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How many drunk Irishmen did it take to change the lightbulb? None, the bulb was fine.

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Why aren't Anti Jokes funny? Cuz they're against my religion.

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What is the same about a girrafe, and an ant? They are both REALLY tall. Except for the ant, sorry I lied.

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What's the difference between a mouse and a dinosaur? A lot.

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What did the mail man say to the resident? I have your mail. Now let's f*ck.

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Why was the boy upset? Because he has a frog stapled to his face.

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What do you get when you put a baby in a blender? A life sentence

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Why did the boy cross the road? Because he was on his way to a friends house, after being kicked out yet again because his parents are homophobes and can't come to terms with his sexual preferences. When he got there, his friend was already asleep and he had to sleep in the gutter. He then got a cold and died because his immune system had been weakened by aids. His parents still didn't accept him, and didn't go to his funeral.

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knock knock who's there? al-Qaeda

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Freddie Mercurys teeth

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What do you call a pelican with no wings? A dead pelican

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what did Johnny get for Halloween. ebola

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why did the rooster cross the road? because it was stapled to the chicken

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Roses are red, Violets are blue.

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Women's rights.

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a priest a rabbi and a minister all walk into a bar and the bartender says "is this a joke?"

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What do you get when you combine High Fructose corn syrup. sunflower oil, carbohydrates, and water. How the heck should I know!

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What's the difference between jelly and jam? A: Nothing Really

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If you're a man, why don't you want to drop the soap in prison? The shower floors are disgusting and carry bacteria. No way would any person -- man or woman -- want to touch it.

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An English couple walk int a Portuguese bar. They never see their daughter again.

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b

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Last night I saw an elephant in my pajamas. I don't know why I went to the zoo in my pajamas.

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What's a golfer's favorite sandwich? Well, it depends on the golfer

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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