What did the frog say to the beautiful sleeping princess? Ribbit

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If I have 10 apples and you have 45 oranges how many plates can we fit on the roof? Purple because monkeys don’t fly

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What did the passive-aggressive woman do to her husband? She killed him. As it turns out, the slight passive-aggressive behavior she was showing was actually an early sign of a dangerous sociopathic mental disorder. The authorities are looking for her as we speak.

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What happens when you push an asian in a hole? He falls in

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How can you confuse a blonde? Give her a calculus worksheet that she hasn't learned how to do.

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Knock knock! Who's there? Dick! Dick who? Dick Stewart, your neighbor from next door!

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NEVER

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So a man was walking down the street with bananas in his ears when he saw one of his friends coming the other way. When they met up the one friend asked, "Hey you know you've got bananas in your ears?" To which the man replied "What? I can't hear you, I have bananas in my ears."

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, I have alzheimers, Cheese Toast!

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Two blonds are racing. Who wins? The first one to pass he finish line.

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what does trondifly mean? trondify is not a real word.

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What's black and white, and red all over? newspaper...

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Why did the blonde cross the road? Because she was stupid.

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Alright, if you guess it right, I'll stop playing Mario and finish my division problems. Okay, Mom, call it in the air! Heads or Tails? Huntington's Disease is the reason your Father doesn't remember your name anymore, Billy. There's a fifty percent chance you'll end up with it too. I am so sorry. Also, Tails.

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A Man walks into a car dealership and asks the salesman "How many of these Blue ones do you have in stock" ? The salesman looks at the Man and begins to cry. "Why are you crying" asks the Man "I had a dog named Blue once" replied the salesman. And then he ate a taco in front of the Man,wiped his hands on his slacks and slowly backed away from him. The Man thought to himself..."Gee I'm hungry" and left the car dealership to go buy a taco instead.

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Looking for a job in this economy is like trying to find employment during an extreme economic downturn.

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silly rabbit, rape is for babies

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The man goes to the doctor after just losing his job because his company went under because of the econmic crisis. His house is being foreclosed because without the money from his job he can't afford to pay for his house. His girlfriend also just left him because of recent conflicts about money issues and how she wanted a family and with him jobless it was just out of the question. Man: "Doctor I could really use some good news" Doctor: "You have aids"

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Why did the man get hit by a van? He was blind, and his guide dog was an idiot.

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You wanna hear a joke about my penis Nevermind, it would be inappropriate of me to say such a thing.

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Why did the fireman wear red suspenders? Because they were part of his uniform.

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When life gives you lemons, make lemonade.

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What"s the biggest Jenga game? 9/11

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I just found out that you can dislike or like something by clicking the thumbs up or down

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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