How many beans are in a soup? Who cares i'm starving, Lets Eat!!!

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Women's rights.

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penis that is all

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Why can't a T-Rex clap his hands? Because its dead

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Has anyone told you, you look fat today?" "Because you don't.

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why is the grass green? all the other colors in the electromagnetic spectrurm are absorbed except for green which is reflected and thats the only visable color

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What do you call two Mexicans playing basketball? A game of one-on-one basketball in a common physical education class in present day mexico city.

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Will my son live, doctor? No because you don't have a son and I am not a doctor

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What do you call a Mexican with a Green Card? A hard working American Citizen

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Oh. So his name's Brandon.

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Don't rape me!

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what do a midget and a dwarf have in common? they both die by the age of 25 due to genetic failures.

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How do you make a professional wrestler cry? You could stab him repeatedly with a box cutter and demand his social security number, but I wouldn't suggest it. He would most likely beat you up.

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What is the best way to put out a fire? Stop, drop and have an orgy.

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Whats worse then finding a worm in your apple? Finding a bomb in your apple.

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name-Sally-Sue What I am good at in school: readin' annnd...math. What I need to work on in school: spelin

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Why don't women wear watches?...Because the economy is at an all-time low and it would be reasonable to presume that a person couldn't afford an item like this, thus, trying to budget in a watch that could cost anywhere from 50-100$ would be a risky financial move depending on their yearly salary.

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That maternal figure of yours is of such inadequate intelligence that she cannot fathom that, given a scatterplot with a linear correlation of greater than -1 and lesser than 1 and a reasonably consistent rise over run, a future value along the y-axis can be predicted if following the y=a(x)+b equation.

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A small child and a pedophile are walking hand-in-hand through the dark, creaky woods. "Mister," says the small child, " I'm scared." "YOU'RE scared?" says the pedophile. "I'M the one who's gonna have to walk back alone!"

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What is 69? A number that is before 70 and after 68

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What's worse than the Holocaust? Finding a worm in your apple.

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Wife: Do you know what the most untruthful lie I've told you? Husband: What? Wife: That I love you. By the way I'm leaving you for your father. The twins are gay and in love with each other and your daughter is a hooker with AIDS. Your mother killed herself upon hearing all this news. She suffered a lot. Oh, the dog died by rat poisoning that your dad put in the backyard. Bye.

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Do you wanna build a snowman? Person: do you wanna live * or nah

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Why couldn't the cat drink its milk? Because its ears were nailed to the floor.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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