why couldn't the blonde change the light bulb? because he chose the wrong sized screwdriver from his tool box

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im black

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Q: how do you tame a dingo? A: Feed it babies

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What did the robot say to the centipede? STOP BEING A CENTIPEDE!!!! It's funny cause the robot ain't got no arms.

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Why aren't Anti Jokes funny? Cuz they're against my religion.

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A hot girl walks past a boy and the boy turns around and watches her pass. The girl sees the boy staring and asks with a slight attitude, "What are you looking at?", to which the boy replied, "Well, I noticed you walking towards me and I couldn't help but think 'Hmm..she looks familiar. Have I seen her at school? No. Work? No. Somewhere else? Perhaps.' I then concluded that I've never seen you before and then you turned around and asked me what I was looking at. What are YOU looking at?"

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Farmer Ned chased his chickens before they laid their eggs, because he likes his eggs scrambled.

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how do you stop a speeding car? Put your foot on the brake

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A rabbi, a preist, and a homosexual are at a bar... What a fine example of a well cultured community.

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Roses are black Violets are black Everything is black Because I'm blind

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If you are going down the road in your boat and the pedal falls off how many cheese burgers can you eat 21 because a motorcycle doesnt have doors.

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One day, Jimmy didn't wake up.

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whats worse than flunking math? death.

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What did the teacher say to the other teacher? We are both teachers

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Did you hear the one about the blonde who went to the grocery store? She walked in, purchased the items that she specified on her shopping list, then left and went to her daughter's piano recital.

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I told my friend a joke. He didn't laugh, I asked why. He said he was autistic and he does not understand humor.

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Oh, I must be hearing things.

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What was the pirate's favorite letter? Q.

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What did the rape victim say to the rapist? "mmfff...mmm.....mmmmm"

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Mitt Romney for president.

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What's a golfer's favorite sandwich? Well, it depends on the golfer

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When life gives you lemons,you say thank you.

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What is red and invisible? No tomatoes.

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There were 3 children: Flower, Petal and Fridge. Flower asked, "Mum, why is my name Flower?" to which she replied "Because a flower was the first thing to fall on you when you were born." Petal asked, "Mum, why is my name Petal?" to which she replied "Because a petal was the first thing to fall on you when you were born." Fridge said, "Herp derp dur" to which Fridge's mother replied "Shut up, Fridge."

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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