Why is there velcro on the edge of the table. Because its there to hold the microwave.

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How many dead babies can you fit in a cooler? 5. using a blender to puree` = 9

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My mom's dead

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What's black, over twelve inches long, and has a hard time fitting in tight spaces? my double stroller.

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What's the best part about a birthday cake? Eating it.

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why did the chicken cross the road because everyone on the other side already had bird flu

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A man waltzes into a bar, waving a carrot in the air. With an arrogant air of self-importance he flops onto a highchair at the bar. Looka here, looka here, he says to the bartender, waiving the carrot at the man. Will you buy me drinks all night, if I can make this carrot... Never mind, and please leave my bar, the bartender says, pulling out a carrot from under the counter. I've got one myself.

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What's the difference between a lamborghini and a sackful of dead babies? one is a car and the other is a grotesque travesty.

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Why did the mushroom go to the party? He was feeling upset because his wife left him and took full custody of his three kids. His friend cheered him up and took him to the party. At the party, he did a line of cocaine and became a drug addict. He died six months later.

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I love my new microwave. It comes with a list that tells just how long to cook things. Now i know how long to cook a baby for

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A black man, a hispanic man, and an asian man all walk into a biker bar. The bartender asks them if they know that this is a biker bar. All three say yes and tell the bartender that they are in the same motorcycle club. The bartender serves them a beer.

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your momma so ugly even she wouldnt date herself.

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What do you call a red sore on your genitals? Herpes, probably.

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GLaDOS: So... this cat loves lasagna so much that he eats all of the lasagna in his house. Okay, apparently it's not the cat's house or his lasagna. Oh good! The man who owns the lasagna is furious! GLaDOS: The end. GLaDOS: The end? GLaDOS: That's not funny. GLaDOS: Do either of you feel like laughing? GLaDOS: Alright, I'm pulling you out. GLaDOS: Welcome back. While you were dead, I reworked the cartoon. It's up on the screen. GLaDOS: As you can see, in my version the man points out to the cat that the house is equipped with deadly neurotoxin dispensers. GLaDOS: At which point the cat reflects on the time he ate all of the man's lasagna and feels remorse. GLaDOS: Briefly. GLaDOS: Reactions? GLaDOS: Yes, it's funny because most of it actually happened.

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ur mother

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I love Ciara!

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What did the blind, deaf rabbit get for Easter? . . . Eaten by a by a lion.

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Why couldn't the Chinese man drive? Because he didn't have his driver's license yet.

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what has two legs and bleeds? half a dog

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Why do black people eat so much fried chicken? Because it's delicious!

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Roses Are Red Lemons are sour, open up your legs and give me an hour

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What's the difference between me and you? Dr. Dre

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why did the fox jump over the pen ? it was tuesday

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Q:What did the policemen say to the other policemen? A:Safe

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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