potatoes

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What do you tell a girl with 2 black eyes? You should ice those to preven swelling aron the eyes

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What do you call a fish that is missing an eye. fsh.

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The mouse and the elephant went to take a bath. They had a nice time.

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GONNA

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A man is driving home from work. he realizes he left his suitcase back at the office. he turns around and drives back to the office. he walks in the office and grabs his suitcase, and as he's walking out he's stopped by his boss. his boss simply asks "what are you doing in the office at this time, Eric?" the man replies to his boss " sorry sir i was just grabbing my suitcase as i forgot to bring it as i was leaving work" his boss lets him pass " okay Eric, have a good night" the man get back in his car and drives home. but on his way home a pedestrian runs in front of the road. the man runs him over unintentionly. the man is jailed with manslaughter for 4 and a half years

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why didnt the dog bark? he died in his sleep

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It is green and it is attached to a fence? Green paint

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A squirrel got killed by getting hit by a truck haha its funny cuz the squirrel died

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I don't often drink beer. But when I do, I recklessly beat my wife and kids.

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Knock Knock Whos there Reality* Knock Knock *Opens Door*

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Guy 1: there is this really funny knock knock joke. Ok you start. Guy 2: knock knock Guy 1: who's there Guy 2: umm what? I don't know

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Q) What did the Hobo get for Xmas? A) Nothing

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What's the difference between a Jew and a black person? Black people are good at running.

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memes

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While on a business trip, a Jim got a call on his cell phone. It was his best friend. He was informing Jim of his wife's death in a terrible train crash. She didn't die on impact, but her legs were cut off by metal debris from the train car in front of her. She fought against the pain and used a shirt she found from a dead body to stop the bleeding. She managed to drag herself to the nearest road crossing, where someone drove her to the hospital. Despite her efforts to survive and the surgeons efforts to save her, she died that night as a result of excessive blood loss. After he hung up, Jim turned up the ringer volume on his phone because he couldn't hear it very well when it rang.

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Why did the dog bark? Who knows, dogs bark for many reasons unknown to humans.

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A man walks into a bar, then he realized he didn't have any money, so he walked out.

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How do you make a dog drink? You put the dog in a blender

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dead babies

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How many blondes does is take to screw a man? one and a condem

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your mother is so lesbian

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roses are red, violets are not, this poem makes no sense. Bananas

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Why did the plane crash? The pilot was a bagel.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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