Knock knock. Who's there? Banana. Banana who? Knock knock. Who's there? Banana. Banana who? Knock knock. Who's there? Banana. Banana who? Knock knock. Who's there? Orange. Orange who? I was eating an orange in the park last week when I saw four men brutally murdered before my very eyes.

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Q: What's better than a dead baby? A: Knowing who killed it, because then you can report them to your local authorities, thus creating a safer community.

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How many feminist does it take to screw in a lightbulb? Two. One to screw it in, the other to suck a dick.

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Your mum so fat, she died of a heart attack

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Q-How do you kill an elephant? A- An elephant gun Q- How do you kill a blue elephant? A- A blue elephant gun Q- How do you kill a red elephant? A- Strangle it until it turns blue then use a blue elephant gune Q- How do you kill a purple elephant? A- Don't be ridiculous purple elephants don't exist

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What’s the best part about winning a gold medal? Nothing. You’re on acid and staring straight at the sun.

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When I was in 4th grade, I was fat. The other kids would take my lunch and spit in all the food, then give it back. Teachers started to wonder why I wasn't eating, and soon began to ask me if I was anorexic. I replied, "do I look anorexic!?" I'm now 6 foot 3 and weigh 56 pounds. *FUN FACT: based on a heartwarming true story.

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what did the man say when he got in the car?nothing he lost his voice in an accient that morning

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So this guy tells me he hasn't had a bite in weeks. So i bought him lunch.

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Why did the fireman go to the police station? He didn't go to the police station, he went to the fire station.

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Q: How many Jew does it take to change a light bulb? Here is the answer: A: A lightbulb cannot be changed, it either is or isn't. Do you mean replace a burned-out bulb with a new one? Here, in this case, with design, logistics, manufacturing, marketing of just that single bulb- there are many people involved. It could be argued that we all play some small part in the process. ------ Nothing to see here, end of the joke. :)

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Does it not sound kinda fun to keep slapping someone that always turns the other cheek?

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Why do leprechauns laugh when they run through the grass? Because it tickles their nuts.

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"What starts with F and ends with a K?" "firetruck?" "no, f u c k"

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Why couldn't Maria play Softball? She was born without legs.

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minorities.

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You're so straight!

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If you have alzeimers, wait, never mind i forget.

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why does andy thomson speak that slow because he speaks that way

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What is worse than being ran over by a bus? Nothing really.

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Why cant i stand up? Cause i shat my pants

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Why was the orphan crying? His parents were dead and his future was uncertain.

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So a Jew, a black guy, and a Mexican all walk into a bar. The bartender says, "Hey guys, what would you like?" They all get beer.

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Where did Betsy go after the explosion? Everywhere.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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