I scream! You scream! - You've Just Been Rapped

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If I could rearrange the alphabet, I'd probably put all the labials, coronals and dorsals in separate places sorted into plosives, nasals and fricatives, with the vowels at the beginning sorted by their relative IPA chartings, to make it more logical and easily attainable to foreigners.

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Why did Susie fall off of the swing? She was hit by an asteroid.

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Why did the man die? He jumped of a bridge and then got run over by a train.

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What's the easiest way to kill a blond? You stab her.

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I just made up a joke! How many women does it take to screw in a light bulb? Seven. The ending needs some work...

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How many babies does it take to paint a house? Depends on how hard you throw them.

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A black guy and a Mexican are sitting in a car who's driving??? The Cops

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I am just trying to grasp the terms you use Nero, you are a genius, I mean I always heard about it, but honestly, well, my first impression of you here was... Different.

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How do you catch a squirrel? Use a live, humane trap, and release it back into the wild afterwards.

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what do you do when you see a 40 ft tall gorilla? WHO CARES, RUN!

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What do u call a black pope? A poooooopppp!

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whats the difference between a jew and a boyscout? A boyscout comes home from camp.

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Q: What is long and hard? A: The gun used to kill my parents.

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What's has 4 wheels But ain't a blue car A red car

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Why did the chicken cross the road? -I don't care

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How do you make a napkin dance? You can't. Stop having such unrealistic aspirations.

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Giving birth to the antichrist

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Why did the japanese bomb pearl harbor? they wanted to weaken the US naval fleet to stop the US embargo on oil being shipped to japan

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What's funnier than a midget bungie jumping? Nothing

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Humpty Dumpty didn't fall I pushed him

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A woman goes to the hospital to receive an ultra-sound after taking a pregnancy test a few weeks before. The doctor comes out and says "Congratulations Susanne would you like to know the results? Susanne says "No thank you." Then, the doctor says "Good, because its actually a retarded baby that we found."

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In the beginning God created the heavens and the Earth. He then created the water, the sky, land, sea creatures, land creatures and humans. He rested.

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Two muffins are in the oven, one looks at the other and says, "it sure is hot in here." The other responds, "AAhHH a TALKING MUFFIN."

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

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The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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