Why do horses read books? We are all doomed...

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Why couldn't the Asian reach the sink? Because he was a 4 year old boy, and was only about 3 feet tall.

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Why did the plane crash? Because the pilot was a loaf of bread.

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cut it out ..but i dont have a scissor

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what do rappers cover? ->CANDY CREDITS: ANUJ NARAYAN VARMA from Leland high school

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Whats gets stiff when you have sex with it? A dead body.

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96

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Person 1: It's your birthday? Person 2: Yeah! Person 1: Oh.

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What would we do with out women? Die and then become extinct

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Why did the young woman have a sore vagina? Because she just experienced intercourse for the first time and her partner was not as gentle as he should've been, given the situation.

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Why did the japanese bomb pearl harbor? they wanted to weaken the US naval fleet to stop the US embargo on oil being shipped to japan

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What do you call a giraffe driving a car? A danger to society.

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Knock Knock. Come in. -mattobrado

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Why did the man pee his pants? Because he was paralyzed from the waste down and had no way of feeling

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Why was the black man shot, He resisted against a highly political challenger. Unfortunately for him the Armenian politician was not a very nice guy.

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I told my friend a joke. He didn't laugh, I asked why. He said he was autistic and he does not understand humor.

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A Jew walks into a gas chamber.

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Three men are stranded, mid-ocean, in a small rowboat. They realize quickly that their imminent demise is slowly creeping into the forefront of their consciousnesses. Just as all hope seem to be lost, one man noticed an island covered in luscious foliage about five hundred yards away. A problem reared it's head as it became apparent that an unrelenting riptide was dragging the boat further and further from the shore and, in turn, salvation. It became further apparent that the men would have to abandon their rickety rowboat and swim the rest of the way. The first man bravely jumps into the vast uncertainty of the ocean and attempts to swim to shore. He is met by a large shark that promptly severs his arm from his body. A bloody mess, he manages to touch down on the sandy beach. The second man, more reluctantly, also jumps in. He balanced his chances: "100% death in the boat vs. uncertainty in the ocean." Like the first man, the second man meets the shark's vicious bite. His leg is severed and he too drags himself, bloody, to the warm embrace of sand and freedom. The third man, sure that he would be bitten also, jumps into the ocean and swims to shore. Alas! The third man arrived on the island unscathed and completely fine. Perplexed, the first two men asked the third why the shark did not attack him. The third man simply smiled and replied..."what do you expect me for, a typewriter?"

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The real Justin Beiber reallly followed me on twitter I deleted my account, set my computer on fire, scattered the ashes and killed myself

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I am just trying to grasp the terms you use Nero, you are a genius, I mean I always heard about it, but honestly, well, my first impression of you here was... Different.

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"Roses are Red" "Violets are Blue" That's what they say, But it isn't true. Violets are violet, Now stop sniffing glue!

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what do an black ,am and a bicycle have in comman there both objects

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why is my brother white and i am brown? the milk man is very fast!

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What do you call a female duck? A duck.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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