How can you tell if a woman is dead? She has no pulse.

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What did the monkey say to the garbage collector? Eiiiiijajajaajaja EIIIIJAAA

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Three vampires were at a bar 1 & 2 were drinking and asked the 3rd why he wasn't. He replied, I'm full I found a used tampon on my way here.

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the joke below me is not an anti joke

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Why did the old man die? Because everyone dies

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Roses are red Violets are blue Little billy was annoying me But he can't anymore Because now he's dead In a burlap sack In the back of my truck And it's really bloody back there

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What did the homeless man get for christmas? Nothing

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whats worse than a worm in a rotten apple? 2 worms in a rotten apple. whats worse than 2 worms in a rotten apple? 3 worms in a rotten apple. whats worse than 3 worms in a rotten apple? the haulocaust. whats worse than the haulocaust? 4 worms in a rotten apple. wait wait...that was rascist,nevermind this joke.

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What do you call a fat legless over weight black man called Tom. Tom.

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Do you know that car over there? No.

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Roses are #FF0000 Violets are #0000FF

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once three middle easterns were walking down the street bomb bomb bomb

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Why is Santa's sack so big? His doctor recently diagnosed him with testicular cancer.

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why is the room so dark? because the light is not on.

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What did Jimmy get for his birthday? Nothing, he was dead

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What is the best thing since sliced bread? Sliced butter.

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Did you hear the Joke about the Deaf kid? Neither did he.

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What's worst than Rick Perry? Two Rick Perrys.

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What's green, fuzzy, and would likely cause fatal harm if it were to fall on someone? A pool table.

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What did the aids patient do after he was diagnosed? He had sex with many more people and gave them aids as well.

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No, I don't have ADH...- Oh look, a butterfly!!

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Why so serious? Why bad grammar?

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Roses are red violets are red, the grass is red Holy crap! My yard is on fire!

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Why do you never hit a black man with your car? Because that's vehicular homicide.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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