-Knock Knock -Whos there? -The police -OH SHIT

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Why did somebody text "lol"? Because they laughed out loud.

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Q: What is green, blue, white and red? A: They're colors

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"Knock knock" "Who's there?" "Your landlord, clear out your stuff by tuesday"

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Adam Sandler.

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That's as _____ as a ______ guy. Works with anything, and people do laugh.

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Why did the baby cross the road? It was stapled to a chicken

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when do you go to heaven? Never, it doesn't exist.

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A man is driving home from work. he realizes he left his suitcase back at the office. he turns around and drives back to the office. he walks in the office and grabs his suitcase, and as he's walking out he's stopped by his boss. his boss simply asks "what are you doing in the office at this time, Eric?" the man replies to his boss " sorry sir i was just grabbing my suitcase as i forgot to bring it as i was leaving work" his boss lets him pass " okay Eric, have a good night" the man get back in his car and drives home. but on his way home a pedestrian runs in front of the road. the man runs him over unintentionly. the man is jailed with manslaughter for 4 and a half years

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Whats green and fuzzy, and if it falls out of a tree you'll die? A pool table.

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What did the black say when an asian knocked him out? Nothing, he was knocked out

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Why did the black homeowner default on his house? He was paying significantly more in mortgage than the actual market value of the home, since he purchased his property before the housing bubble. He carried out a cost/benefit analysis and derived the conclusion that he was effectively destroying his own wealth by paying his mortgage bills.

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What happens when you eat too many breadsticks? You get constipated.

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A man walks into a bar. He asks the bartender for a glass of milk. The bartender says, "Sorry we don't serve milk here.

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how do you confuse a brunette? tell a joke about how there are no beaches in florida

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An elderly lady walks into an elevator. She falls over and I kick her in the head.

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2 blonds are driving on the road on their way to Disney Land. They come to the sign that says Disney Land left so they started crying, turned around and went home.

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You wanna hear a clean joke? I took a bath with bubbles. Wanna hear a dirty joke? I slipped in mud. Wanna hear an even dirtier joke? Bubbles is a guy..

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Wanna hear a joke? Toyota

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A baby seal walks into a club...

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Women's Basketball.

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A young couple just gave birth to their first child and the doctor says, "I’ve good some good news and some bad news, what do you want first?" "Give us the bad news first", the parents reply. "Your baby has red hair", says the doctor. "Well whats the good news", ask the parents. "It’s dead", says the doctor.

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How did Hitler like his steaks? He didn't like steaks, he was a vegetarian.

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What do a baker and gynecologist have in common? They can smell it, but they can't eat it.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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