a man walks into a bar..... the man pulls out a gun and robs the place as he is exiting he bumps into a child the child falls in the street and is crushed by a bus. the bus in an attempt to avoid the child swerves and hits a maternity clinic next to a gas station that promptly explodes. the robber so distraught he trys to shoot himself but the gun misfired and the man was arrested and was raped repeatedly in prison...he now has aids...

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One day three men died. Heaven had almost been full, and he wanted to see who could get in and who would burn. So the first man starts and says "well I just got home from my girlfriends house, she just dumped me. I was crazy mad, and as I was about to eat the pain away, I saw a man hanging off of my porch. I ran to the man pulled out a sledge hammer, and then smashed his hands off the balcony. And without thinking I picked up my refrigerator and threw it down at him. But sadly I fell with the refridgerator." the second man steps up and says.. "I was doing my dance routine on my porch, and I slipped on an ice cube and flipped off the rail. I took ahold of a railing on which I could puulmupmtomsaftey on, but as I was about to save my own life some psychotic man comes out with a sledge hammer and bashes my hands off the railing. After he threw his refridgerator down at me." and then the third guy says..."well I was in this refridgerator........."

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Who flexes triceps more than anyone? James

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Billy: Mom.... Dad, I have decided that I want to live on my own. Parents: Great son! We're so proud of you! Billy: Thanks for your support! Your luggage is outside by the taxi.

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A black man picks up his phone and calls his wife and finds out he had no wife

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Why is it nice to wear jeans? So people don't see your undies.

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A feminist walked into a bar and had her period

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One time I was playing hide and seek with grandma but I couldn't seem to find her. I asked my sister for help and she told me she was hiding in the living room on the shelf. I went into the living room but all I saw was a vase on the shelf. Grandma probably didn't know the game was over so I opened the vase to tell her. To this day she hasn't come out of the vase.

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Did you see the blind man get hit by a car? Neither did he.

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Why can't Jesus eat M&M's? Because they keep falling through the holes in his hands.

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What did Stephen Hawking say about Stephen Hawking Anti-jokes? "They're stupid".

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Knock Knock! Who's There? Not Steve Jobs.

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What notes does the tightrope-musician have to worry about? They probably have to concentrate generally harder than the average musician in order to produce any correct, good quality notes.

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Rebecca Black was taking a leisurely stroll on a Friday afternoon. She was consumed by a lion.

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I just made up a joke! How many women does it take to screw in a light bulb? Seven. The ending needs some work...

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How many Jehovah's Witnesses does it take to screw in a light bulb? 2. One to firmly hold the ladder and the other to cautiously screw it in. They are volunteering at the local orphanage and it is wrong to make fun of there religion. We are all different in our own special way.

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Yo mama is so fat, she had to get liposuction.

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Where do rabbais go to shop? At the supermarket like everyone else.

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Obama.

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How many women does it take to change a lightbulb? None, let the bitch cook in the dark.

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What do you call a black person trying to swim? Wet.

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Yo mama is so fat that you are constantly ridiculed by the local kids and constantly hope that the obesity isn't hereditary.

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when does the phrase "time heals all wounds" not apply? to people with fatal wounds.

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Why did Susie fall off of the swing? She was hit by an asteroid.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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