I feel like am motherf***ing stuck in this dock and it makes me wana quack like what the hell is THAT!

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A priest, a rabbi, and a minister are in a boat in the middle of the lake when a lightning bolt flashes out of the sky and hits them. Fortunately, no one died because only about 10% of those struck are killed.

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why did the first monkey fall out the tree? he was dead why did the second monkey fall out the tree? he was hit by the first one why did the third monkey fall out the tree? peer pressure why did the fourth monkey fall out the tree? he thought it was a game

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What did the homeless man get for Christmas? Nothing.

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What do you call a white man in the NBA? A really good basketball player

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Friends are like trees, they fall down when hit multiple times with an axe.

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So i was walking down the street and this guy was really excited. I said "what is so Exciting?" He said "i just saw Justin bieber kiss a girl."

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roses are black, violets are black, im sleeping

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tim rafter died no one cared

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Whats red and smells like blue paint? A blue waffle.

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who farted? umm........that guy.

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A man runs into a psychiatrist's office and screams, "You gotta help me doc! I just killed seven people in my office building!"

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A simple math problem. If 10% of men are gay, and 20% of men are chinese what is the probability that a man chosen at random spends his free time and meal time both on his knees?

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Roses are red Violets are blue Today is your birthday So happy birthday

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Hi my name is Burp -you can call me Bu Nice to meet you

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a man and a woman are standing at a bar. they have a few drinks and then go home and die.

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What did the fat man buy at Mcdonalds? A salad, hes on a diet

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What do you call a black priest? Holy Crap

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What Mary short for? Due to the fact she has no legs, on account of the flesh eating she contracted after a visit to argentina thanks to the make-a-wish foundation. Mary also has cancer

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a drug dealer was caught and sent to jail. he asks the cop if he could give the cop the drugs for bail. the cop does not except the offer because it is against the law.

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what do you do if a blonde throws you a grenade. scream. run. hide

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BUTTERFARTING

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What does Pontiac stand for - People Of Normal Thinking Intelligence Acting Classy

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What's the difference between Michael Jackson and a truck? You drive a truck, Michael Jackson has anal sex with little boys.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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