Q:What did the policemen say to the other policemen? A:Safe

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A priest enters a bar moments after a young teen walks into the same bar. The priest scolds the teen, warning him of the possibility of arrest, alcoholism, and other bad life consquences. The teen apologizes to the bartender, and much later in life, he thanks the priest.

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Why couldn't the little boy skate? He had cancer.

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How does a black man make an anti joke? www.anti-joke.com/submit

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A Blonde walks into a bar. She is an abusive relationship and is drinking her pain away.

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why did every one in the world die? a Train pooped it's pants.

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why did bully fall of his bike He was eaten by a fridge

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What's red and bad for your teeth? A brick.

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Hey, want to hear a joke? Women's Rights

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i hate you.

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You: I have a really funny Knock Knock joke but you have to start it. Someone Else: Okay, Knock Knock You: Who's there? (now watch their face as they become confused)

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i like my women like i like my coffee...big boobs

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What is the difference between a jew and a boyscout? a boyscout comes back from camp.

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- Knock Knock. - Who's there? - You're coming with me.

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Q. WHAT IS SPECIAL ABOUT GEORGE BUSH? A. NOTHING

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A man is on an operating table. His heart stops beating and he suddenly finds himself at the Gates of Heaven. St. Peter approaches him. "Welcome, my son," St. Peter says. "I can't believe it," the man exclaims, "I've died and gone to Heaven! I-" St. Peter interrupts him. "Not quite yet, my son. You must first answer three questions. You will only enter Heaven if I deem you fit to do so." The man nervously agrees. "All right. First question," St. Peter says. "Did you ever commit a sin and never sought forgiveness?" The man thinks long and hard. "No, I always made sure to apologize." "Splendid," St. Peter responds. "Did you attend church every Sunday?" The man loses some of his former confidence. "I may have missed the odd week." "That's fine," says St. Peter. "One last question... Do you believe you are worthy of entering the Gates of Heaven?" The man answers nervously, "Well... yes, yes I do." St. Peter smiles. "Congratulations, my son. You have passed the test, and may enter Heaven!" The man is ecstatic as the pearly gates open up for him. He enters Heaven and is astounded by its magnificent beauty. The man then loses all brain function and dies on the operating table.

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The awkward moment when you notice its 2012 and we're all gonna die, so you buy and elephant and name him John.

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What did the man say after falling off the bridge? Nothing. He died a painful and terrible death on impact.

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How do you get a baby out of a blender? With tortilla chips.

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Q: how many Pollocks does it take to paint a house? A: 100. 99 to spin the house and 1 to hold the paint brush

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Roses are Brown Violets are Brown I hate everyone on antijoke that steals what I write I fisted a cows butt hole.

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Q. How do you kill a fish A. You don't have to BP already did

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"This is not a drill!" - guy holding a hammer

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A priest, a rabbi and a captain are in a sinking ship. The rabbi says let's save the children. The captain says f*ck the children. The priest days do we have time.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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