Why are girls large and round? Because they are raised by wild packs of oompa loompas.

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Hi my name is Burp -you can call me Bu Nice to meet you

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Why couldn't Little Timmy see the pirate movie? Because Little Timmy was blind.

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I like the Tsarnaev brothers. They ran the Boston marathon and had a BLAST!

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What's the difference between a bunch of slaves and a porsche? A: i don't have porsche in my basement

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what's funnier than hell? heaven

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Why do gorillas have big nostrils? Have you seen the size of their fingers!?!?!

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A polish, english and african man each were standing on a skyscraper. The african man jumped and died. The polish and enlgish men called 999.

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Why couldn't the Chinese man drive? Because he didn't have his driver's license yet.

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What's sad about 3 Black Guys in a Camero? It was my car...

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whats red and smells like blue paint? half a painter.

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If you say gullible over and over again, it sounds like stupidity.

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Why couldn't the little boy skate? He had cancer.

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Go figure, you seemed pretty fucking scared of me back then. "autocast" hypnotic priming, anchors, you know what that is right? You for (as an example) clap your hands whenever you succeed at hypnotizing yourself while staying awake in a lucid state, then you repeat it until you one day just clap, your body remembers the whole sequence and boom it works right away. You did not think that PaulMcKenna could just touch people and have them do what he wants without even telling them what to do right? Especially not McKenna, I learned a lot from Richard Bandler, absolutely nothing from Anthony Robbins, everything I could ever want from Igor Ledochowsky, and absolutely nothing from PaulMcKenna, I went to him last, I should have skipped Both Robbins and Kenna, they use NLP and... Basically call it hypnosis.

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Roses are red Violets are blue who are you kidding, violets are violet

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Your mom is so fat, when she sat on a lump of coal she didn't realize she sat on a lump of coal.

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What did the mushroom say to the pretty lady? Nothing, because it's a mushroom.

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What did the black man say to the other black man? Nothing, he was recently involved in a terrible car accident which he barely survived but lost the function of speech and was paralysed from the neck downwards. He is constantly in pain and desperately wants someone to kill him but has no way of communicating this so is forced to wait until his natural death.

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Why is 6 afraid of 7? Because 7 took 9 behind an alley and raped her.

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What do you call a douche with no arms or legs? A device for washing out the vagina as a contraceptive measure.

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Wanna hear a joke the WNBA

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"How come the week takes so long but the weekend goes by so fast" "Because there are five days in the week and two in the weekend"

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Why couldn't the 14 year old find a date? Because he had a speech impediment and girls avoided him usually.

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Of two wrongs don't make a right what do they make? I don't know but three rights make a left

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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