-Knock Knock -Whos there? -The police -OH SHIT

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A Fish walks into a bar. It died of oxygen starvation.

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"Knock knock" "Who's there?" "Your landlord, clear out your stuff by tuesday"

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A man walks into a bar. The bartender asks what he'd like to drink. The man pulls out his gun, shoots the surprised bartender, and proceeds to execute all the patrons of the bar and finally commit suicide. A post-mortem identification of the man identifies him as a victim of childhood sexual abuse and a diagnosed schizophrenic. There is a nice funeral for all the victims and the media respectfully minimizes exposure of the event.

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Adam Sandler.

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Once you go black you may be more open to dating a second black person.

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That's as _____ as a ______ guy. Works with anything, and people do laugh.

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A man is driving home from work. he realizes he left his suitcase back at the office. he turns around and drives back to the office. he walks in the office and grabs his suitcase, and as he's walking out he's stopped by his boss. his boss simply asks "what are you doing in the office at this time, Eric?" the man replies to his boss " sorry sir i was just grabbing my suitcase as i forgot to bring it as i was leaving work" his boss lets him pass " okay Eric, have a good night" the man get back in his car and drives home. but on his way home a pedestrian runs in front of the road. the man runs him over unintentionly. the man is jailed with manslaughter for 4 and a half years

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GONNA

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What did the mushroom say to the pretty lady? Nothing, because it's a mushroom.

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Whats worse than HIV? AIDS

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How did the fat man die? Clogged arteries leading to a heart attack.

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How do you have sex with an amputee? stick it in the eyes

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whats worse than a worm in a rotten apple? 2 worms in a rotten apple. whats worse than 2 worms in a rotten apple? 3 worms in a rotten apple. whats worse than 3 worms in a rotten apple? the haulocaust. whats worse than the haulocaust? 4 worms in a rotten apple. wait wait...that was rascist,nevermind this joke.

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women's lacrosse.

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What's the difference between a Jew and a black person? Black people are good at running.

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What did the blind, deaf and dumb kid get for his birthday? Broken arms and legs

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An elderly lady walks into an elevator. She falls over and I kick her in the head.

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A man walks into a bar, then he realized he didn't have any money, so he walked out.

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Wanna hear a joke? Toyota

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A baby seal walks into a club...

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A young couple just gave birth to their first child and the doctor says, "I’ve good some good news and some bad news, what do you want first?" "Give us the bad news first", the parents reply. "Your baby has red hair", says the doctor. "Well whats the good news", ask the parents. "It’s dead", says the doctor.

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Why is Helen Keller a bad driver? Because her inability to see or hear makes her an extremely dangerous road hazard.

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What's the difference between a black man and a large pizza? One is a popular Italian food and the other is a human being.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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