Why does Helen Keller only masturbate with one hand? Because she's moaning with the other.

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roses are red violet are blu--- blue? violets are violet! weird, isn't it?

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there were 2 sausages in a frying pan. One sausage says it sure is hot in here. The other one says WTF a talking sausage!

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What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? The holocaust.

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Why are girls large and round? Because they are raised by wild packs of oompa loompas.

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Hi my name is Burp -you can call me Bu Nice to meet you

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What is the difference between your mother and a hooker? Gonorrhea and her father's approval.

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Why couldn't Little Timmy see the pirate movie? Because Little Timmy was blind.

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What's black, over twelve inches long, and has a hard time fitting in tight spaces? my double stroller.

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What's more dangerous than bungee jumping without a rope? Getting into a car with Ben Colbert.

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Why is 6 afraid of 7? Because 7,8,9! (Also it killed his family and nuked his country too)

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what's funnier than hell? heaven

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"Knock, Knock" "Go away, I have a lot of stuff to do right now and knock knock jokes suck."

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Why doesn't stevie wonder play snooker? Because it's not very popular in the US.

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What did the husband tell his obese wife? I love you honey

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Why do gorillas have big nostrils? Have you seen the size of their fingers!?!?!

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Why couldn't the Chinese man drive? Because he didn't have his driver's license yet.

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GLaDOS: So... this cat loves lasagna so much that he eats all of the lasagna in his house. Okay, apparently it's not the cat's house or his lasagna. Oh good! The man who owns the lasagna is furious! GLaDOS: The end. GLaDOS: The end? GLaDOS: That's not funny. GLaDOS: Do either of you feel like laughing? GLaDOS: Alright, I'm pulling you out. GLaDOS: Welcome back. While you were dead, I reworked the cartoon. It's up on the screen. GLaDOS: As you can see, in my version the man points out to the cat that the house is equipped with deadly neurotoxin dispensers. GLaDOS: At which point the cat reflects on the time he ate all of the man's lasagna and feels remorse. GLaDOS: Briefly. GLaDOS: Reactions? GLaDOS: Yes, it's funny because most of it actually happened.

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What's sad about 3 Black Guys in a Camero? It was my car...

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A cat fell out of a really tall tree. It didn't land on its feet.

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What did the Ethiopian eat for dinner? Nothing

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whats red and smells like blue paint? half a painter.

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What did you say? I don't know.

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Why couldn't the little boy skate? He had cancer.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops