what did the joke say to the anti-joke? do you want to fight

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me:I will trade you 5 dollars for 10 dollars blond: Okay! me: ...

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The President, the Pope, and a small child are in a plane when the pilot announces that they are about to crash. The plane hits the ocean. They quickly remember that there is a life jacket under their seats and they promptly put it on, but wait to inflate it (by pulling down on one or both of the red tabs) it until after exiting the cabin.

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What's worse than a baby dying of AIDS? It depends upon one's frame of reference. A family living in the US might consider the death of a baby by AIDS a horrible act by the gods. But to a similar family in sub-Saharan Africa, this might be a regular, albeit tragic occurrence.

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How did Helen Keller's parents punish her? They gave here a timeout, like any other sensible parent would.

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Q: Whats worse than having a dead car battery? A: Going to prison and getting raped by a black guy

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how do you know that harry potter isnt real a ginger has two freinds

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what happened to the polish man that was running late for work he got their late apparantly

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there where 3 guys at a magic pool. if you jump in and say anything it appears in the pool. the first guy runs, jumps and says money!! he gets a bunch of money. the second guy runs, jumps and says gold!! he gets a bunch of gold. the third guy runs, slips says SHIT!!!! and lands in the pool.

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a man walks into a bar..... the man pulls out a gun and robs the place as he is exiting he bumps into a child the child falls in the street and is crushed by a bus. the bus in an attempt to avoid the child swerves and hits a maternity clinic next to a gas station that promptly explodes. the robber so distraught he trys to shoot himself but the gun misfired and the man was arrested and was raped repeatedly in prison...he now has aids...

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What did the man say when he dropped an apple on his foot? That might have caused some minor discomfort had I not been wearing shoes.

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what do a plum and a rabbit have in common? there both purple except for the rabbit

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what is green and has wheels? grass i lied about the wheels

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Why did the plane crash? Because the pilot was a loaf of bread.

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Justin Bieber

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What do you call a person with no legs, no arms, no eyes, and no heart? Well he'd be dead wouldn't he?

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Yo Mama is so ugly she wears a mask on halloween

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What's black, white, and red all over? A white man's bleeding cancerous tumor.

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whats the oposite from anti-jokes? uncle-jokes. LOL

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How can you tell you're in a childrens' ambulance from the inside? From the clown patterned body bags.

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Knock, knock. You do realize you can actually physically knock on the door instead of just imitating the sound effect with your mouth, right? It's actually way more effective that way. Just saying, since it's raining outside and you're cold and want to come in...

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Your momma is so boss that I work for her.

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What's naughty and rhymes with CORN? Naughty corn.

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Q: I am an over-protective father looking for my son who was kidnapped and am suddenly traveling with a mentally retarded woman who cant remember her name. By the way my wife was murdered and my son has physical disorder. Then, im hooked up with a hippy who doesnt care about anything. Who am I? A: Marlin the clownfish (from Finding Nemo).

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

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The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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