Boy: Doctor! Doctor! I can't see my arm! Doctor: It's because your blind son

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What does a bug do in a telephone booth? Eats yogurt.

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A man walks into the bar, goes up to the bar tender and says "exuse me, please could I have a pint of bitter" the bartender says "sure"

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a. get me a drink b. a would but but i got no arms

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Whats the difference........ between a duck?

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the your face joke

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Knock Knock. Who's there? I have a door you don't have to say, knock knock.

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What is the difference between a Jew and pizza? a pizza doesn't yell when it goes into an oven

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what's funnier than hell? heaven

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ruddell and dodds anal

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Whats big, brown and can jump really high... A kangaroo

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ur mother

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GLaDOS: So... this cat loves lasagna so much that he eats all of the lasagna in his house. Okay, apparently it's not the cat's house or his lasagna. Oh good! The man who owns the lasagna is furious! GLaDOS: The end. GLaDOS: The end? GLaDOS: That's not funny. GLaDOS: Do either of you feel like laughing? GLaDOS: Alright, I'm pulling you out. GLaDOS: Welcome back. While you were dead, I reworked the cartoon. It's up on the screen. GLaDOS: As you can see, in my version the man points out to the cat that the house is equipped with deadly neurotoxin dispensers. GLaDOS: At which point the cat reflects on the time he ate all of the man's lasagna and feels remorse. GLaDOS: Briefly. GLaDOS: Reactions? GLaDOS: Yes, it's funny because most of it actually happened.

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A horse walks into a bar. Bartender says, "Why the long face?" The horse does not respond because it is a horse. It can neither speak nor understand English. It is confused by it surroundings, and gallops out of the bar, knocking over a few tables.

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Your momma is so fat that when she steps on the scale it says 300 lbs.

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Roses are red. Violets are blue. Onions stink. And so do you.

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what did the man say to the other man? hi

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Why couldn't the Chinese man drive? Because he didn't have his driver's license yet.

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i am a duck. are you a duck. yes i am a duck.

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When geese fly, they often fly in a V-formation. Why is one side of the V is always longer than the other? Because there are more birds on that side.

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Your not having a bad day, your just doing everything wrong!

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How do you get a blonde to drown herself? Isolate her in an aqueous environment

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What did the blind, deaf rabbit get for Easter? . . . Eaten by a by a lion.

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Golf.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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