Okay so two penquins are sitting in a bathtub when one asks the other "Hey pass the soap!". The other one jokingly replies "what do I look like a typewriter?"

thumb_up thumb_down +21

What animal is green and eats a green rockeater? A green green rockeater eater. What animal is green and eats a green green rockeater eater? A frog.

thumb_up thumb_down +21

jewish people like other jewish people.

thumb_up thumb_down +19

What do you tell a woman with two black eyes? That she should train harder for her next boxing match, or find a less physically demanding hobby to partake in.

thumb_up thumb_down +19

FIONN'S HAIR 1 LIKE = £1 FOR A HAIRCUT

thumb_up thumb_down +19

there's two nuns cycling down a cobbled street. one nun says:ooo iv'e never been this way before! the other nun says:i'm not surprised there's roadworks and a diversion!

thumb_up thumb_down +17

knock knock who's there a black person SHIT!!!!

thumb_up thumb_down +17

Why did the dog go in the bar? Because the door was left open

thumb_up thumb_down +17

How do you stop a skunk from smelling? Block its nose.

thumb_up thumb_down +17

What's the difference between a vegetable and my son? Nothing

thumb_up thumb_down +17

Why did the elephant fall into the hot chocolate? It fell off the marshmellow.

thumb_up thumb_down +15

What's the difference between unicorns and black people? Years of slavery.

thumb_up thumb_down +15

whats worse than finding a worm in your apple, finding a apple in your worm.

thumb_up thumb_down +15

oops

thumb_up thumb_down +15

What did the carrot say when he was Chopped. Auch.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

why did the 14 year old girl cross the road? to get an abortion of the child she became impregnated with after getting raped.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

Boy: BRB Girl: OK. *Two hours later* Boy: Back. Girl: What took you so long? Boy: Someone asked why I loved you. Girl: Aw, that's so s- Boy: I know! I had no idea who he was! I had to call the cops.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

Oh, I must be hearing things.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

Q: Why did the horse put on cologne? A: He wanted to smell nice.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

Yo mama is so fat that you are constantly ridiculed by the local kids and constantly hope that the obesity isn't hereditary.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

Fuzzy wuzzy was a bear, fuzzy wuzzy had no hair, fuzzy wuzzy had cancerand died

thumb_up thumb_down +11

What do you call a black man in a pumpkin patch? His name is Bill.

thumb_up thumb_down +11

A black, asian, and white guy jump off a building, who lands first? Well, according to newton's law of gravitation every massive particle in the universe attracts every other massive particle with a force that is directly proportional to the product of their masses and inversely proportional to the square of the distance between them. It depends on who weighs the most

thumb_up thumb_down +11

If I have 10 apples and you have 45 oranges how many plates can we fit on the roof? Purple because monkeys don’t fly

thumb_up thumb_down +9

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops