Q: how many Pollocks does it take to paint a house? A: 100. 99 to spin the house and 1 to hold the paint brush

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A man walked into a bar. He did this because he was blind and could not see the obstacle in his path.

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Why was Adam sad his dog got ran over? He was holding the dog.

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how do you make a plumber cry? Kill his family.

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How do you confuse a blonde? Tell her an anti joke

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Banana(s)

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From SpongeBob SquarePants "Hey Patrick, wanna know what's funnier than 24??" - SpongeBob "What?" - Patrick " 25!!!!" - SpongeBob There are a lot of things that are funnier than 24 though.

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Your Mom... is a very nice lady who makes good cookies

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What do divorce and a loose bear in a zoo have in common? They both tear families apart

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What's the best joke of all? YOUR SOCIAL LIFE!!!!!!!

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What do you get when you cross a grizzly bear and a dolphin? Well, the odds of these two animals mating are slim to none. Due to the undeniable fact that dolphins live in the ocean primarily in the warmer tropical waters and grizzly bears live on land in the pacific northwest where the water would be too cold for the dolphin anyway. The dolphin would be swimming around avoiding sharks and the bear would probably be eating a salmon. But if they did breed you would get a dolphinbear. Although a dolphinbear would have a very low chance of survival given it's part dolphin. Dolphins are pussies.

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dead babies

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What did one deer say to the other? Nothing. The second deer was killed while they were eating and now the first deer is scarred dot life.

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how much dub would a dubstep step if a dubstep could step dub? purple

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Never said that friend, anyway I got to put this down, people are asking why I am typing anti jokes. Well, they should all know how much I love spamming by now. ;). Now, you better do not have someone hack this site, it will be a hell of a lot easier explaining this, if this information is not recovered much later, days after getting hacked away. Give it three months, half a year or so, and I will contact you if you like. Have a nice day.

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Why happened when a clothes line walked into a bar? He got hung over

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Fuck her

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What's worse than the titanic sinking 9-11

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A horse walks into a glue factory..

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A homeless person dies.

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A black man is packing heat while driving his car. He is a police officer

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Why did the elephant fall into the hot chocolate? It fell off the marshmellow.

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why did the girl fall of the swing because she was pushed of by obama

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When life gives you lemons you leave the earth in search of what strange lifeform sent you them.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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