The mouse and the elephant went to take a bath. They had a nice time.

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69

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Roses are blue, Roses are red. Give me your money, Or I'll cut off your head.

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If a man shouts in a forest and there is no woman around to hear him, is he still wrong? He could be, he could not be. It really depends on what he says. The greater concern is that he's shouting alone in the forest. Either he's in trouble or he has a major psychology disorder.

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A man walks into the corner of a table and bruises his leg. The bruise continues to be there for about 3 weeks.

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What did Billy get his parents for Christmas? Billy's an orphan.

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Why did the little boy die? Because he had cancer.

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women's rights

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Why did Sarah fall off the swing? She didn't have any arms. Knock knock. Who's there? Not Sarah.

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A black man accidentally walks into a white man. They apologize to each other and carry on with the rest of their day.

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How did the blond die? Substance abuse

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If you have 10 fish and you drown 5 how many do you have left? 10... you can't drown a fish, and even if you could you would still have 10 because there would still be there, they would just be dead. 5 alive, 5 dead

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Why did the black homeowner default on his house? He was paying significantly more in mortgage than the actual market value of the home, since he purchased his property before the housing bubble. He carried out a cost/benefit analysis and derived the conclusion that he was effectively destroying his own wealth by paying his mortgage bills.

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What did the mute say to the deaf man? Nothing. He's a mute.

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Why doesn't Santa come in the Summer? Because it's not Christmas.

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how do you confuse a brunette? tell a joke about how there are no beaches in florida

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What did the man say after falling off the bridge? Nothing. He died a painful and terrible death on impact.

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What did the pig say to the banana? Oink.

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What do you call a fat legless over weight black man called Tom. Tom.

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I don't often drink beer. But when I do, I recklessly beat my wife and kids.

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A man with a ski mask on enters a bank, he just came back from the slopes.

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What do you call Magic Johnson in a wheel chair? A tragedy, especially considering his past struggles with HIV.

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Whats the difference between a dead baby and an orange? One is a tasty treat you can peal and enjoy and the other is an orange

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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