Wanted: A tall, well built woman with good reputation, who can cook Frog's legs, who appreciates a good Fuc- shia garden, classical music and tal- king with out getting too serious. Now read only lines 1,3, and 5

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Q: My mom's getting really old and It's starting to get hard to shop for her. Any ideas? A: You should get her a coffin.

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Games stop telling me to press any key to continue. That key doesn't exist.

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Boy: Doctor! Doctor! I can't see my arm! Doctor: It's because your blind son

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Why did the lady spill her coffee? The waiter accidently ran into her and then apologized.

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What's black, over twelve inches long, and has a hard time fitting in tight spaces? my double stroller.

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My mom's dead

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why did the chicken cross the road because everyone on the other side already had bird flu

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Q: What's better than a dead baby? A: Knowing who killed it, because then you can report them to your local authorities, thus creating a safer community.

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Why do you put a baby in the blender but first? To see the facial expressions

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What do you call a red sore on your genitals? Herpes, probably.

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GLaDOS: So... this cat loves lasagna so much that he eats all of the lasagna in his house. Okay, apparently it's not the cat's house or his lasagna. Oh good! The man who owns the lasagna is furious! GLaDOS: The end. GLaDOS: The end? GLaDOS: That's not funny. GLaDOS: Do either of you feel like laughing? GLaDOS: Alright, I'm pulling you out. GLaDOS: Welcome back. While you were dead, I reworked the cartoon. It's up on the screen. GLaDOS: As you can see, in my version the man points out to the cat that the house is equipped with deadly neurotoxin dispensers. GLaDOS: At which point the cat reflects on the time he ate all of the man's lasagna and feels remorse. GLaDOS: Briefly. GLaDOS: Reactions? GLaDOS: Yes, it's funny because most of it actually happened.

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A cat fell out of a really tall tree. It didn't land on its feet.

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Two gay guys go into a bedroom, in different houses at different times.

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A mute says to a paraplegic: You can talk the talk - but can you walk the walk?

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What did the Ethiopian eat for dinner? Nothing

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what is black, white, and red all over? A bloody panda

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Why was the woman poor at driving? Because she had not yet passed her driving test.

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What's a Mexican's favorite sport? It varies from person to person.

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Why did the first koala fall out of the tree? because it was dead. Why the second koala fall out of the tree? because it was hit by the first koala. Why did the third koala fall out of the tree? because it thought it was a game.

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Rebecca Black.

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Kid: Teacher, what do you hate more than supervising people in detention sessions at this school? Teacher: I am a vegan. Hence meat is relatively dispicable and I abhor it in general.

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when do you go to heaven? Never, it doesn't exist.

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Why did the blonde buy a condom? Because she had a penis.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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