what happened to the polish man that was running late for work he got their late apparantly

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there where 3 guys at a magic pool. if you jump in and say anything it appears in the pool. the first guy runs, jumps and says money!! he gets a bunch of money. the second guy runs, jumps and says gold!! he gets a bunch of gold. the third guy runs, slips says SHIT!!!! and lands in the pool.

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person 1-As me if I'm purple... person 2- Are you purple? person 1- no

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whats the oposite from anti-jokes? uncle-jokes. LOL

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wheres a good place to find funny jokes? anti-joke.com

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Whats worse than being hit by a bus and dying? Being hit by a bus and listening to Justin Beiber in a hospital bed.

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What's black, white, and red all over? A white man's bleeding cancerous tumor.

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Yo Mama is so ugly she wears a mask on halloween

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Time flies like a banana.

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Knock Knock Who's There? ... knock a door run

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What's white and comes out of a long black stick? Milk with a long black straw.

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Women's Rights

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A white guy, a mexican, and a black guy are in a race. Who always wins? Whichever one crosses the finish line first

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A Muslim blows up a bar

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What's naughty and rhymes with CORN? Naughty corn.

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Q: I am an over-protective father looking for my son who was kidnapped and am suddenly traveling with a mentally retarded woman who cant remember her name. By the way my wife was murdered and my son has physical disorder. Then, im hooked up with a hippy who doesnt care about anything. Who am I? A: Marlin the clownfish (from Finding Nemo).

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Your momma is so boss that I work for her.

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Knock, knock. You do realize you can actually physically knock on the door instead of just imitating the sound effect with your mouth, right? It's actually way more effective that way. Just saying, since it's raining outside and you're cold and want to come in...

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What comes after 69? Mouthwash

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What do you give a Penn State waterboy for Halloween - Candy

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Q: Why happened to the dead whale? A: It was shot by Asian pochures.

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How can you tell you're in a childrens' ambulance from the inside? From the clown patterned body bags.

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Two muffins are in the oven, one looks at the other and says, "it sure is hot in here." The other responds, "AAhHH a TALKING MUFFIN."

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A man asked another man what he was doing the next day. The man then proceeded to tell him that he had not intended on having any plans due to the fact that he was planning on killing himself within the next twenty three hours.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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