A man walks into a pet shop. He says to the shopkeeper, "Excuse me, do you have any dogs going cheap?" The shopkeeper replies "We feel that we price our animals reasonably, but the cheapest type of dog we have is £50." The man realises that, unfortunately, he cannot afford a dog so instead he purchases a goldfish. It wasn't the same.

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Doctor: “Knock Knock” Patient: “Who's there?” Doctor: “The interrupting Doctor” Patient: “The inter- Doctor: You have cancer.

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roses are red, violets are not, this poem makes no sense. Bananas

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I ENJOY MASTURBATING

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Why do black people love watermelon? It's simply delicious.

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Why did the plane crash? The pilot was a bagel.

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Knock, Knock Who's there? Dementia Dementia who Knock, Knock

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What's worse than Bin Weevils? Nick Clegg.

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A black man is packing heat while driving his car. He is a police officer

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Oh, I must be hearing things.

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How do women learn to drive? Drivers ED.

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are you lazy? -yes -Why are u lazy? -cause am lazy

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how do you make coffee you put it in a mug

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What do a grape and a spider have in common? Both have 8 legs..... Except for the grape.

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Yo mama's so fat, she has low self-esteem.

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A man, a woman, and their son were happily going out for a nice family dinner. The family they ate wasn't so happy.

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Last night I saw an elephant in my pajamas. I don't know why I went to the zoo in my pajamas.

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If I could rearrange the alphabet, I'd probably put all the labials, coronals and dorsals in separate places sorted into plosives, nasals and fricatives, with the vowels at the beginning sorted by their relative IPA chartings, to make it more logical and easily attainable to foreigners.

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I scream. You scream. We all scream.

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Why didn't the skeleton cross the road? He didn't have the necessary mental ability or muscle structure to complete said task.

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Why didnt the kid go in the pool? Because there was no pool!!

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Whats the difference between a duck? One of its legs are both the same.

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What is black and hangs from a tree in my backyard? My neighbors children.

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Why did phil krahn go to the store? To get one of those suits

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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