OH NO, ZOMBIES!!!!!!!!!!

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Why did Tommy cry? His tear glands emptied out of his eyes

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Justin Bieber

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a blond goes into a taxi, the driver asks where to my friend , the blond says her desired location, gets droped off and trips, falls on her head, suffers major injuries, dies,weeks later the taxi driver drove the family to the funeral, they walk out and one of of them trips and gets back up...

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Why is Santa's sack so big? His doctor recently diagnosed him with testicular cancer.

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Why does Michael J. Fox make a great milkshake? Because he's had a successful career where he has made a substantial amount of money, allowing him to purchase high quality ingredients.

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why did the boy have no friends ? Because he lived in a small cottage miles away from any civilization with his overly strict parents who would not let him see the daylight and deprived him of any kind of childhood, he has no social skills and does not know how to interact with other human beings at no fault of his own. he is also dead

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What animal is green and eats a green rockeater? A green green rockeater eater. What animal is green and eats a green green rockeater eater? A frog.

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why did the monkey fall out of the tree? because it was dead. why did the frog fall out of the tree? because it was stapled to the monkey,

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a man walks into a bar.......ouch

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What's worse than listening to a teacher talk? This joke.

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Knock knock who is there ? i'm an orphaned, sir can you tell me why did you write who "is" instead of who's ?? because than i will have to use the (') key and its very far not to mention that i have to use the shift key do u want a pizza ? how much ? 50 cents ? get the hell out ? im not even in yet !

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are you lazy? -yes -Why are u lazy? -cause am lazy

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Jewish People

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what a tomato would say if his friend would be hit by a car? Nothing because tomatoes can't speak

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Do you know what Chuck Norris does for a living? He's an actor, I also heard he's quite good with martial arts.

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Q: What do you call a black man sitting on a bench? A: Whatever his name is.

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Why was Lucile crying? Because she was sad.

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What is black and hangs from a tree in my backyard? My neighbors children.

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Womens Rights.

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Why did the baby cross the street. Because he was attached to the chicken.

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Your momma is so boss that I work for her.

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Oh, I must be hearing things.

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What do you call a chicken with its head cut off? A dead chicken. Most likely ready to be cooked/eaten

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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