There once was a man from Peru Whose limericks stopped at line two (I sense the public demanding an encore) There once was a man from Verdun There's also a limerick about Emperor Nero, but I can't tell it to you.

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how many jews did hitler kill during the holocaust? too many jews

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What do you say when you wake up in the middle of the night to see your TV floating in midair? "I should probably lay off the hallucinogens."

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I'm on the seafood diet. A large proportion of my daily food intake is fish.

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Q: How do you fit a giraffe inside a refrigerator? A: You can't, it is physically impossible...

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Why did the women keep scratching her head? Because she had lice

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what do you get when you cross a chicken and a mad scientest? a mutant chicken

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You're mom is so slutty, she has sex with many men.

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whats the differnce between a baby and a dart board? dart boards dont bleed.

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Why did the koala fall out of the tree? Because it was dead.

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A man is in a bar with a drink A lorry driver come in a gulp the guys drink down The man starts crying the lorry driver says"don't cry I will buy you another" The guy says "it's not that: Today I woke up late for work and when I finally got there my boss fired me so I get in my car to go home and it wont start so I walk home while it's raining and when I got in I found that my wife was sleeping with the gardener so I came down here and asked for some poison and you went and drank it"

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What did the blind, deaf and dumb kid get for his birthday? Broken arms and legs

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A man witnessed a car crash. He was traumatized

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What's the difference between a black man and a large pizza? One is a popular Italian food and the other is a human being.

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What did the man say after falling off the bridge? Nothing. He died a painful and terrible death on impact.

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What do you call a douche with no arms or legs? A device for washing out the vagina as a contraceptive measure.

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An Irishman walks into a bar. He quickly exits as he thought it was the Polish restaurant located directly nextdoor. He then enters the Polish restaurant and orders a delicious lunch. He tips his waiter 20%.

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A man walks into a bar, then he realized he didn't have any money, so he walked out.

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What is as ugly as Justin Bieber's face? Justin Bieber's face.

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What do you call a Jewish lawyer, who is happily married to a woman, but goes and sees a man on the side? A gay Jewish lawyer who cheats on his fake wife.

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Why did the fly get off the toilet? It got pissed off.

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How do Jewish people celebrate Christmas? Jewish people do not celebrate Christmas, for Christmas is an annual commemoration of the birth of Jesus Christ, celebrated generally on December as a religious and cultural holiday by billions of people around the world. A feast central to the Christian liturgical year, it closes the Advent season and initiates the twelve days of Christmastide. Christmas is a civil holiday in many of the world's nations, is celebrated by an increasing number of people, and is an integral part of the Christmas and holiday season.

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Ask me if I'm a Banana Are you a Banana? Yes Oh, I couldn't tell in this lighting

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Why was the orphan crying? His parents were dead and his future was uncertain.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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