If you can dodge a traffic, that probably has little or no relation to how well you can dodge a ball.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? His motives so far are unknown as he is a chicken, and therefor cannot divulge the information.

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Whats worst than being attacked by a tiger? Being attacked by 2 tigers.

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Why cant i stand up? Cause i shat my pants

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How many kids with ADD does it take to screw in a lightbulb? Wanna go for a bike ride??

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, sorry i gave you Herpes type 2.

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The little mouse lifted the giant Elephant up so the Elephant could reach the bag of snacks, but then the Elephant said: I cant reach it, you must be tired so lets switch places... Squish: Squish! Elephant: Mouse! Where are you! *looks at "squish" NO! THIS WAS NOT THE WAY THE JOKE WAS SUPPOSED TO BE!!!!!!! Moral: Elephants cant talk...

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Q. How do you kill a fish A. You don't have to BP already did

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why is the room so dark? because the light is not on.

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A young couple just gave birth to their first child and the doctor says, "I’ve good some good news and some bad news, what do you want first?" "Give us the bad news first", the parents reply. "Your baby has red hair", says the doctor. "Well whats the good news", ask the parents. "It’s dead", says the doctor.

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Which of the following is NOT true? A. The lemon is walking to a store. B. The store is walking to a lemon. C. The man is a lemon and a store. D. Peanuts are stuck in my anus

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What did Santa Claus say to the young boy on Christmas Day? Santa Claus is a myth, that was actually a pedophile.

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Robin, get in the car.

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no u

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Your mom is so dumb that she failed to pass her 11th grade year, forcing her to drop out to get a GED and spend the rest of her life at a dead end job

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Hello, ladies, look at your man, now back to me, now back at your man, now back to me. Sadly, he isn’t me, but if he stopped using ladies scented body wash and switched to Old Spice, he could smell like he’s me. Look down, back up, where are you? You’re on a boat with the man your man could smell like. What’s in your hand, back at me. I have it, it’s an oyster with two tickets to that thing you love. Look again, the tickets are now diamonds. Anything is possible when your man smells like Old Spice and not a lady. I’m on Sarah Jessica Parker.

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What do you say to a black man who is in your house at night-time, carrying your television? Sir, may you please put down the television as it belongs to me and I worked hard to earn the money to buy it. If you do not I will have to contact the authorities to deal with you in a correct and fair manner.

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What do you call a black person playing basketball? An athlete.

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What do you call a deaf person whom is behind the wheel of a car about to run off a cliff? ....

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How do you make a plumber cry? Kill his family

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What smells, tastes, and looks like trash? Garbage.

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What did the Atheist say in the church? His best friend's eulogy.

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how much dub would a dubstep step if a dubstep could step dub? purple

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Why was Lucile crying? Because she was sad.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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