An English man, an Irishman and a Scotsman walk into a bar. They each buy a pint and talk about their day.

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Q) what happens when you tackle someone with 2 legs? A) you fall over

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Why can't Helen Keller drive? Shes dead.

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A man walks into a bar. He asks the bartender for a glass of milk. The bartender says, "Sorry we don't serve milk here.

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What do you call a guy with a car on his head? Immediate identification would not be possible. The man would be referred to by his estimated demographics. Circumstantial evidence and dental reports may be required for identification at which points the family's would be notified. Only after this will the man's name would be released to the media who would in turn report this.

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Why is there no African food restaurants in America? Because Africa doesnt have food to begin with

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Why couldn't the kid get into the Pirate movie? He died in a car crash on the way there because of a drunk driver.

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A man with a ski mask on enters a bank, he just came back from the slopes.

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Knock Knock Who's There? Just open the damn door I forgot my key and I really need to pee

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Knock, Knock. Who's there? Disc . Disc Who. Disconnected.

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Knock knock. Who's there? I am.

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What do you call a Mexican man in prison? A prison officer.

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Boy: BRB Girl: OK. *Two hours later* Boy: Back. Girl: What took you so long? Boy: Someone asked why I loved you. Girl: Aw, that's so s- Boy: I know! I had no idea who he was! I had to call the cops.

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It's a scientific fact that if you took all the veins out of your body, and lined them up end to end, you would die.

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What do you call a black man on the moon? An astronaut

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What smells, tastes, and looks like trash? Garbage.

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What do you call a file named pedo? A. Pedobear B. Toast C. Pedofile

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How are a plum and a rabbit alike? Theyre both purple except for the rabbit.

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What did the doctor tell the boy with no arms or legs? I'm sorry, you have terminal cancer.

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What has 14 eyes, 14 legs, 70 toes and 7 noses... 7 people.

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I do not like the fact that you are linked with the feds.

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Tim's gay.

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What has two wheels, two arms, and a head? A man in a wheelchair. Why was he in a wheelchair? He stepped on a landmine. A man walks, I'm sorry rolled, into a bar.

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What do you call a black man who graduated med school? A doctor

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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