Yo mama's so stupid, I told her it was chili outside so she went outside with a spoon.

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What do you call a black man in a pumpkin patch? His name is Bill.

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Knock, knock. Who's there? It's Bob. Oh hi, Bob, come on in.

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why did i go on the rollercoaster? because there was a muffin on it

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Two friends not to far apart: A: Hey you, you hear me?! B: yes. A: You hear me?! B: yes!! A: You hear me?! B: yes, yes, what!?! A: You hear me?! B: YEEEEEEEES WHAT'S going on?!?! (gets upset) A: Nothing, I'm just checking your hearing.

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Why is 6 afraid of 7? Six hasn't been the same since he left Vietnam. Every time he closes his eyes, he's sees Charlie hiding in the darkness of the forest. Not that you could ever see those bastards, mind you. They were fast and they knew their way around the jungle. He remembers the looks on the boy's faces when they walked into that village and... oh Jesus. He shouldn't think about that now. Sometimes he still hears Tex's slow southern drawl. He remembers the smell of Brooklyn's cigarettes. He always had a pack of Luckys. But the boys are gone now... he knows that. It's--it's just that he forgets sometimes. And sometimes the way that seven looks at him... it makes him think. Sets him on edge. And he feels like he's back there... In the jungle... In the darkness. Seven has a hook for a hand as well, which is very scary.

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Why did the plane crash? Because the pilot was a loaf of bread.

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yo mama's so sexy... wait, thats not how it goes

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American Idol

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What did the women order for dessert? Pie.

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A woman refuses to make a sandwich and walks away unharmed.

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Knock knock. Who's there? The police. We have reason to believe you are hiding large amounts of narcotics in your residence and have obtained a search warrant for the premises. Open the door or we will be required to use forceful means of entry.

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How do you make a girl happy then sad within 5 seconds? Buy her a pony and then shoot it

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Roses are grey, violets are grey, im a dog

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Why did the blind man drown? Because he couldn't swim.

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"Roses are Red" "Violets are Blue" That's what they say, But it isn't true. Violets are violet, Now stop sniffing glue!

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Knock-knock. Who's there? Interrupting Cow. I'm calling the police.

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three men walked into a bar, can't believe know one noticed it.

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Why couldn't the boy see the pirate movie? He was blind.

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What's the most wonderful time of the year? When your wife dies.

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There are four types of people in this world. I never said I would name them all

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Ask me if I am a bus. Are you a bus? No.

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You wanna hear a joke about my penis Nevermind, it would be inappropriate of me to say such a thing.

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A simple country boy and a hugely attractive young blonde sit in the same train carriage. They exchange greetings and pleasentaries, but are quiet for the remainder of the journey.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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