What did the blind, deaf and dumb kid get for his birthday? Broken arms and legs

thumb_up thumb_down +27

What do divorce and a loose bear in a zoo have in common? They both tear families apart

thumb_up thumb_down +27

What did the black man say to the latino man? Nothing he was far to busy trying to get a cab to his office meeting for his board of directors do not appreciate tardiness

thumb_up thumb_down +25

A man walks into a pet shop. He says to the shopkeeper, "Excuse me, do you have any dogs going cheap?" The shopkeeper replies "We feel that we price our animals reasonably, but the cheapest type of dog we have is £50." The man realises that, unfortunately, he cannot afford a dog so instead he purchases a goldfish. It wasn't the same.

thumb_up thumb_down +25

What do you call a guy with a car on his head? Immediate identification would not be possible. The man would be referred to by his estimated demographics. Circumstantial evidence and dental reports may be required for identification at which points the family's would be notified. Only after this will the man's name would be released to the media who would in turn report this.

thumb_up thumb_down +25

why didnt the deaf man laugh? he was also mute

thumb_up thumb_down +25

Never said that friend, anyway I got to put this down, people are asking why I am typing anti jokes. Well, they should all know how much I love spamming by now. ;). Now, you better do not have someone hack this site, it will be a hell of a lot easier explaining this, if this information is not recovered much later, days after getting hacked away. Give it three months, half a year or so, and I will contact you if you like. Have a nice day.

thumb_up thumb_down +25

What's the difference between a Jew and a pizza? Actually a lot because a pizza is a pizza andna Jew is a human.

thumb_up thumb_down +25

A young boy is concerned about his fathers health, due to the fact he may have cancer. Turns out, he doesn't. So they got ice cream.

thumb_up thumb_down +25

Knock Knock Whos there Reality* Knock Knock *Opens Door*

thumb_up thumb_down +25

Why was the orphan crying? His parents were dead and his future was uncertain.

thumb_up thumb_down +23

Why did the used car salesman stop selling cars? He got fired.

thumb_up thumb_down +23

Q: Why did the boy cross the road? A: Because he was being chased by a pedophile.

thumb_up thumb_down +23

Q: what do strawberry and a cat have in common? A: they are both red except for the cat

thumb_up thumb_down +21

Roses are red, Violets are blue, You're allergic to flowers So this poem will kill you

thumb_up thumb_down +21

what kind of person screaws in a light blub........ a electrician

thumb_up thumb_down +21

How do you get a baby out of a blender? Call the police and have them deal with the tragedy.

thumb_up thumb_down +21

what's the difference between a ferrari and a pile of dead babies? I don't have a Ferrari in my garage.

thumb_up thumb_down +21

why did the koala fall out of the tree it was dead why did the 2nd koala fall out of the tree it was hit by the first koala why did the 3rd koala fall out of the tree it thought it was a game why did the 4th koala fall out of the tree it was fit by a fridge why did the 5th koala fall out of the tree it was inside the fridge why did the 6th koala fall out of the tree it was punished for dropping a fridge why did the 7th koala fall out of the tree it committed suicide after framing the 6th koala

thumb_up thumb_down +21

What did the passive-aggressive woman do to her husband? She killed him. As it turns out, the slight passive-aggressive behavior she was showing was actually an early warning sign of a dangerous sociopathic mental disorder. The authorities are looking for her as we speak.

thumb_up thumb_down +19

Tacos

thumb_up thumb_down +19

You play the piano? What more can you do? Sounds complicated but try me.

thumb_up thumb_down +19

What does a ghost get when he watches pornography? A boner

thumb_up thumb_down +17

whats worss than getting a papercut gohnnarea

thumb_up thumb_down +17

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops