What do you call a deaf person? You don't they can't hear you.

thumb_up thumb_down +35

What happened to the dying kangaroo? He died What animal is not in the lion king? Kangaroo --why? Because he died...

thumb_up thumb_down +33

What's funny about a Jew, a Muslim, and a Christian going over the edge of a bridge in the same car? Nothing, they all died

thumb_up thumb_down +31

How many pumpkins can you fit in a watch? Depends how much jelly is in the pumpkins

thumb_up thumb_down +31

womens rights!

thumb_up thumb_down +31

Roses are Brown Violets are Brown I hate everyone on antijoke that steals what I write I fisted a cows butt hole.

thumb_up thumb_down +31

Why is the grass always greener on the other side? because they have a landscaper.

thumb_up thumb_down +29

They say under Chuck Norris's beard, is just a chin.

thumb_up thumb_down +29

How many Jews can you fit into a car? About 5 or 6. It depends on the size of the car.

thumb_up thumb_down +29

A piece of rope walks into a bar, and asks for a beer. The bartender says, "Sorry, we don't serve ropes here." The rope goes into the bathroom, ties himself into a knot, then rubs himself against the walls until his ends are ragged. Then he walks out and says to the bartender: "I'm a frayed knot." The bartender replies, "Right, I see that you've tied yourself into a knot and frayed your ends. So what? What are you trying to prove?" "Well, I...I mean, it was supposed to be a pun, and you were supposed to react like...like it was..." "Look, I thought I was doing you something nice by letting you use the restroom, even though I told you we don't serve ropes here. And then you go in there and rub yourself against the walls or some crazy shit, and probably get them all dirty, and you come out and expect I'm going to give you a drink because of a pun? Is that how you think this works? Get out of my bar before I call the police." The rope slinks out, still tied in a knot, and eventually finds somebody willing to buy a bottle of cheap vodka for him at a liquor store. He never sets foot in the bar again.

thumb_up thumb_down +29

Why was Adam sad his dog got ran over? He was holding the dog.

thumb_up thumb_down +29

Stop being racist!Be a panda. They are black white and asian!!!!

thumb_up thumb_down +29

Knock Knock Whos there Reality* Knock Knock *Opens Door*

thumb_up thumb_down +27

What did the black man say to the latino man? Nothing he was far to busy trying to get a cab to his office meeting for his board of directors do not appreciate tardiness

thumb_up thumb_down +27

What do divorce and a loose bear in a zoo have in common? They both tear families apart

thumb_up thumb_down +27

What's the difference between a watermelon and a baby? A watermelon is edible.

thumb_up thumb_down +27

What's the best joke of all? YOUR SOCIAL LIFE!!!!!!!

thumb_up thumb_down +27

a little girl gets raped

thumb_up thumb_down +27

A plane carrying an Englishman, an Irishman, and a Scotsman is destined to crash unless some weight is lost. First they drop the spare engine, but there is still too much weight. Then they drop the luggage, but still there is too much weight. All three men then jump out. The plane crashes anyway.

thumb_up thumb_down +27

What do you call a guy with a car on his head? Immediate identification would not be possible. The man would be referred to by his estimated demographics. Circumstantial evidence and dental reports may be required for identification at which points the family's would be notified. Only after this will the man's name would be released to the media who would in turn report this.

thumb_up thumb_down +25

A small plane is carrying three passengers: a young boy scout, a priest, and the smartest black man on earth. Due to improper planning, there are only three parachutes on the plane. The engines cut and the pilot takes a parachute and jumps out of the plane. The black man says, "I am the smartest black man in the world. I need to live." He takes a parachute and jumps out of the plane. The priest says to the boy scout, "Son, you take the last parachute. I have lived a full life." After a very touching moment, the boy scout puts on the parachute and jumps out of the plane. Minutes later, the priest dies a horrific death as the plane crashes into the desert.

thumb_up thumb_down +25

Why did the Jew pick up the loose change on the ground?Because he has to use it for taxi money to get back home.

thumb_up thumb_down +25

Why was the panda sad? It's family died when China had an earthquake.

thumb_up thumb_down +25

what kind of person screaws in a light blub........ a electrician

thumb_up thumb_down +23

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops